“Close it up. I’ve seen enough.” Those were the words of an older, experienced beekeeper to me one afternoon when I was learning how to tend a hive. My movements had been quick and forceful, causing vibrations that alarmed the bees and resulted in a growing swarm around my head. Even though I was trying to care for them, I was only making them angry. My friend proceeded to show me the importance of moving “softly,” using gentle motions that were less likely to disturb the bees. Today (years later), when I go into a hive, my motions are so much smoother that my wife tells me it almost looks like I’m dancing.

Sometimes difficult conversations are like dancing with bees. When others are upset and emotions are tense, reacting angrily only makes matters worse. As King Solomon observed, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Responding kindly and peacefully to those who are irritated or unreasonable may take time to learn. But because gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit at work within us (see Galatians 5:22-23), with God’s help we can make progress in it.

These days I’m learning to pray for wisdom and gentleness whenever I go into a hive or a difficult conversation. When we walk with God into tense moments, our “help in trouble” is never far away (Psalm 46:1).