母親生我時難產. 那時中日戰爭剛開始,媽媽已經昏迷,要動手術,必須有人簽名,外公在外縣趕不回來,家中清醒的只有外婆和十四歲的舅舅,女人不能簽名,於是舅舅勇敢地簽了名,救了媽媽和我兩條命.

我生下不到兩個月,就跟著母親逃難,舅舅以一個青少年身份,偷跑到新疆,去作一名保衛疆土的士兵.

再見舅舅時,他已經是一個英俊的空軍軍官,帶著他美麗的新疆白俄妻子與兩歲的兒子,由伊犁自己開飛機回到南京.

舅舅住在南京有錢、守寡的姨婆家,深院大宅,經常酒會、舞會,常用吉普車接我們逃難艱苦中生長大的小孩們去他借居的豪宅開眼界.

舅媽喜歡跳舞,就教姐姐跳舞.

舅舅喜歡騎馬,就帶我去騎馬. 他告訴我許多他在遙遠新疆的故事,怎樣打敗哥薩克小子們,追到一隻羊,贏得舅媽的芳心.

1949年內戰後,我們到了台灣,舅舅在上海,不幸被迫與舅媽離婚,舅媽帶表弟妹們回俄國,舅舅又因為批評毛澤東被送到靑海唐古拉山勞改.

1999年在得知舅舅已過世之後,我曾與小女兒背包走新疆,尋找他的新疆足跡.

2014五月二十日我們洛城作協與中國作協交流遊,在作協常援援總陪,會長葉周,秘書長北奧領導下, 名譽會長蕭逸、夫人劉美清, 團員江啟洸、施瑋、虔謙、王克難、林美君、劉詠平、阿諾、楊超、楊聖斌、李敏一行十四人遊新疆,朝朝暮暮,親如兄弟姊妹.

在烏魯木齊看了野馬集團的野馬生態園, 雖然未能見到 "撒馬天下"的園主陳志峰,但看到了他的汗血寶馬,剛得世界大獎的小公馬 "拉米亞", 被牽著在馬場上運動,小小年紀,如此英姿.

在陳志峰攝影的油畫展中,我看到了他鏡頭裏新疆的靈魂,我似乎也看到我在南京高大的馬上,抱緊舅舅的腰, 我,出生時被舅舅救了命的小姪女, 舅舅,我崇拜的 "新疆" 英雄.

5 月26號,我們去天山峽谷,谷中有天鵝湖、濕地、 滿山的靑松、積雪未化的草原,草原上有騎馬的.從第一天到新疆,我就找機會騎馬,上次跟女兒在阿爾泰和哈納斯,天天都騎馬的.

馬棚裏只有一匹棕色的馬,竟像舅舅喜歡的馬, 是舅舅專留給我的?

於是我滾鞍上馬,迎面的風,寒而不冷,頭頂上的太陽,一片溫暖, 我提起韁繩, 跑馬雪原起來.

My Uncles Horse

When my mother gave birth to me, it was a difficult birth. The Sino-Japanese War had just started. My mother was admitted to a missionary hospital almost unconscious.

Surgery must be performed right away and someone must sign the agreement. My grandfather was away from home. The only persons conscious were my grandmother and my fourteen-year-old uncle. A womans signature did not count in China during those times, so my under-age uncle bravely signed the paper and saved the life of my mother and me.

Before I was two months old, my mother took my sister and me and ran away from the Japanese bombing. My teen-age uncle ran away to Xiangjiang，the west most region of China and enlisted himself as a soldier. 

When I saw my uncle again, he had become a handsome officer in the air force. He had married my aunt, a beautiful White Russian young woman and had a two-year old son. My uncle flew his family in a plane from Xinjiang to Nanjing.

My uncle stayed with my mothers rich, widowed cousin in Nanjing. He held parties in the grand mansion and took us children who were poor growing up during the war to the parties to enjoy his and his wifes version of "good life."

My aunt loved dancing and taught my sister how to dance.

My uncle loved horses and took me with him horseback-riding. He told me many stories of the faraway Xinjiang, how he won my aunts hand by defeating all the competing Cossack youth and caught a ram single-handedly.

The reunion of my uncle and us was a happy but short one. in Civil War broke out in full scale. In 1949 my parents took us children and left for Taiwan. My uncle took his family and my grandmother to Shanghai. Later he was forced to divorce his wife. My aunt took their children to Russia. My uncle was sent to a camp in Tang Gu La Mountain in Qinghai, the worst labor camp in whole China because he had criticized Chairman Mao.

I wasnt able to see my uncle since. 

In 1999, I learned that my uncle had died. My younger daughter and I backpacked in Xinjiang to look for places my uncle had been.

In May 2014, I joined the group of fifteen Los Angles Writers Association to visit Beijing and Xinjiang.

Our first Xinjiang stop was Urumuqi. The city was busier than I was there fifteen years ago.

We visited the Wild Horse Preserve and Museum in Urumuqi. The owner, Mr. Chen Zhi Feng, collected asteroids and mummified poplars from all over Xinjiang and exhibited them in his Mini Wild-life Reserve in the city.

He also raised prize-winning Akhai Teke horses in his reserve. One colt which had just won an international grand prize had been just flown from Beijing. It was doing its daily exercised on the track when we visited. The colt already walked in such a royal gait. Imagine it a grown-up stallion!

From Mr. Chens photography exhibited in his art museum, I seemed to see the soul of Xinjiang, seeing through his lens. I seemed to see myself riding on the big horse in Nanjing, holding on tight to my uncles waist from behind. Me, his favorite little niece who owed her life to him. And my uncle, a "Xinjiang" hero I worshipped.

On May 26th we went to Tian Mountain Valley near Urumuqi.