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| 2010/03/10 06:00:20瀏覽1425｜回應0｜推薦80 | |
我的目地是傳達這種病的常識 同時還有另一個目地是希望每個人 都能去感受患者 身體與內心的痛苦 你會因感同身受 而想幫助他們 還是拋棄他們 又或著你根本沒有感覺 我相信你和我一樣 很想伸出你的手幫助他們 用真心的祝福 也是一種幫助 希望有一天他們能康復 Helen was diagnosed with, and treated for, depression in her late 40s, after many years of 'weird and bizarre' experiences. Throughout her life, she has coped with a range of symptoms from anxiety to deep depression. Helen在40多歲尾的時候被診斷出有憂鬱症並已接受治療 生病了好幾年感覺是奇怪與異樣的 在她生命的整個過程 從焦慮症到嚴重的憂鬱症 她都一一克服了所有的症狀 Tell me about your life and when you first felt something wasn't quite right. I think almost ever since I can remember, I felt something of an outsider in my family and at school. I was aware that I got tummy aches all the time, that I wet the bed and bit my fingernails, and that, generally, I was an anxious child. My parents were very kind about that. The school wasn't, but my parents were. 告訴我關於妳的生活和妳的第一次感覺某些異樣的經驗 我覺得應該從我有記憶開始吧 在家庭和學校我感覺到我是局外人 我常常自覺我都在肚子痛 我尿床我咬指甲 這種情況我是典型的焦慮症兒童 我的父母是非常仁慈寬容的看待 但是學校並不是這樣待我 That was just the way I was, feeling anxious, as if I had a layer of skin too few. I tended to retreat into myself and read books, because sometimes relating to people was just too hard. 感覺焦慮 就好像我只有一層薄皮覆蓋著那樣少的感覺 這就是我的生活方式 因為某些事情跟人有關係的 對我來說太困難處理了 我便傾向於自我退縮 還有閱讀書籍 When I was in my 20s, at home with two small boys, I began to ritualise things. The kids got exactly the same thing for breakfast, lunch and tea. And I did exactly the same thing every day, in the same order. Looking back, I think it was a way of creating a reality, when I felt very isolated and lonely. 當我在20多歲的歲月裡 家裡有兩個小男孩 我開始做很公式化的事情 孩子們每天吃一樣的早餐午餐點心 而且我每天都做同樣的事情 同樣的順序 再回想起來 我覺得當我感覺孤立和寂寞的時候 我在想製造一個真相的方式 I wasn't diagnosed with depression until I was almost 50. And, at that point, I'd had all kinds of experiences that were weird and bizarre. 那時並沒有被診斷出我得憂鬱症 直到我快50歲才被診斷出來的 而且重點是 我都已經有憂鬱症的各種經歷 像是感覺奇怪與異樣 *她是在抱怨為甚麼沒能及早被診斷出她得了憂鬱症 Why didn't you get a diagnosis for such a long time? I really don't know. I think I probably present as a pretty positive person. I started doing these really odd things and I was ashamed of them. I didn't feel they had anything to do with illness. I always thought that it was a form of moral failure on my part. 為甚麼妳是這麼長時間才被診斷出得了憂鬱症? 我真的不知道 我想我大概表現的非常樂觀正面的人吧 剛開始我會做很奇怪的事情 做了之後又感到很丟臉 那時並沒有察覺那是憂鬱症的症狀 我一直以為我有道德淪喪狀況的一面 I guess I have done good things to try to counter the difficult but I think, with depression, it's a constant battle to stay on top of it. It's a constant battle to get up in the morning, not to think negative thoughts and to try to redirect your thinking if it's becoming negative, and it's very easy to turn for comfort to things that are themselves destructive: alcohol, cigarettes, inappropriate relationships. 我猜測我已經做了 對的事情而且 嘗試用它去對抗困難的事 但是我認為憂鬱症總是停留在那裏跟我爭鬥著 怎麼跟憂鬱症爭鬥 就是早晨起床後 不要有負面悲觀的想法 嘗試著引導你自己的想法 如果想法變成負面悲觀 就會很容易去尋求感覺能撫慰自己的事情 而這些事情卻是有害的 像是酗酒抽菸及發生不正常的朋友關係 *撫慰自己的事情: 抽菸 酗酒 吸毒 發生不正常的朋友關係....... There's a whole range of comfort things that our society allows and condones, but which can turn on the person who uses them. A drink in the evening after a difficult day can become more than one drink, and there's always the possibility that something will turn into a dragon that you can't keep in the cave. 這整個範圍"有害的撫慰事情"在社會是被允許和縱容的 就很方便憂鬱症患者去做 患者發病 辛苦的一個傍晚 來一杯酒 就不會只有一杯而已 總是有可能會變成像一隻在山洞中待不住的龍 Can you tell me about your depression and how it manifests now? My depression has worn so many different faces and continues to. I think, when I was younger, it came more in the form of anxiety, and the anxiety would become more and more intense until it became compulsive behaviour. 妳可以告訴我關於妳的憂鬱症現在它是怎樣顯現的? 我的憂鬱症 已經轉換很多不同形式發作 而且還繼續著 我認為當我年輕的時候 它顯現最多的是焦慮症 這個焦慮症後來就變得越來越激烈 直到轉變為強迫的行為 In recent years, I've had some really severe depressive episodes; it's as if you turn into a person who is observing her own life and you think, 'It's okay, because all of that awful stuff is happening over there, and I'm not really in that'. For me, it has felt like I'm standing on an island, detached from the mainland, and that island is starting to float out to sea. That becomes a very seductive kind of image, that your last vestige of control is that you could end it. You don't have to put up with it any more; as though you could choose a painless way in which the island could continue to float out. 最近這幾年 我有發生幾次憂鬱症的情境 就像你變成一個自己在看自己的生活 而你認為那樣還好啊 因為很多恐怖的事發生 你認為你自己並不在那裡面 對我來說 我感覺我是站在一個島上 跟大陸是分離的 而島開始飄浮在海上 變得非常富有魅力的畫面 其實你是可以結束那最後控制你的跡象 你並沒有必要繼續 就像你是可以選擇無痛的方式 讓那個島繼續浮著 *隨時自己掌控自己的思緒 才能自己控制憂鬱症 You never realise what a seductive idea suicide is until you are severely depressed, because, I suppose, ordinary people think of suicide as being impossible, because it means leaving all the good things in life, but that's not the way it is. Suicide is about leaving all the bad things behind. 你從來不會知道 那富有魅力自殺的想法是什麼 直到你病到很嚴重的憂鬱症 因為我想 一般人覺得自殺是不可能的 因為那表示要離開生命中的好事 但是憂鬱症的人卻不是這樣想的 他們覺得自殺是把不好的事在生命中拋掉 *正常人認為世間是美好的 憂鬱症的人認為世間是醜陋的 And yet there is something in yourself that says, 'No. No that's not an option. No, you must resist that because, even though awful things are happening over there, there are still these people and you love these people, and there is still a life and you are alive and you're part of life'. 然而有些事在你自己必須說: 不要! 不要! 那不是唯一的選擇 不要! 你必須抵抗它 因為即使那裡發生很恐怖的事情 那裡還是會有一些人 是你所愛的人 還有一個生命而且你還活著 你是屬於那生命的一部分 Is having suicidal thoughts something you feel goes hand in hand with depression? It certainly does. I remember seeing an advertisement recently where someone said that ballet is like an Olympic sport but it has to be made to look effortless, whereas, with sport, it doesn't matter if you grunt. So, in my life, I try to keep the grunt and sweat of keeping the seductive bad things out of the way invisible, and I try to build up a bank account of positive things, so I can draw on them when I need to. 是不是有自殺的想法跟憂鬱症是有關聯的? 是的 完全正確 我最近看了一個廣告 廣告說芭蕾舞像是一個奧運項目 但是芭蕾舞又必須看起來不費力 然而芭蕾舞又要一種運動 如果你抱怨也沒有關係 所以在我的生命裡 我還是試著繼續抱怨 繼續流汗 那富有魅力的壞事就消失無影 我試著建立一個存款帳戶 這是一件積極的事 所以等我有需要的時候我就可以提款 *憂鬱症的人常常需要與內在的它戰鬥 外人看似輕鬆 他們卻是千倍的辛苦掙扎 One of the things that severe depression has taught me is that you don't have to be 100 per cent 100% of the time. I have put a burden on myself much more than other people have put on me and, hopefully, I'm learning how to modify that and say, 'No, I need time out too. I need “fritter time”, the same way that I need fritter money! I need time that I don't have to account for and I don't have to be 100 per cent there for other people all the time'. 我曾想到一件事在很多憂鬱症狀裡 就是你並不需要100%緊繃在那裡 我曾給自己的負擔多過別人給的 現在我懂了我就修正過來 我會對自己說: 不了! 我也需要喘口氣休息 我需要有"慢慢消耗的時間" 就好像我也需要有慢慢消耗的錢 我需要時間 那時間並不需要 給任何人交代著和為任何人100%緊繃在那裡 I think people really don't understand what depression is. If I had diabetes or heart disease or breast cancer, there would be immediate recognition that I had a legitimate illness. Depression is something that I have trouble feeling is legitimate. 我覺得很多人並不了解什麼是憂鬱症 如果我得的是糖尿病或是心臟病或是乳癌 那它們會馬上被診斷出來 而且他們也絕對是合理的病症 憂鬱症是一種感覺出問題的病 它也是合理的病症 Do you take medication? I do and it's terrific. I've tried a number of medications, and some of them have had side effects, so I've changed medications to minimise the side effects. I regard them the same way I regard hormone replacement therapy. If I can take something that is going to change the chemistry in my brain to work at its maximum, then I am happy to do that. 你有吃藥嗎? 我有吃藥 它是很可怕的 我試過很多不同的憂鬱症的藥 也一些是有副作用的 為了減低副作用到最少我換過很多種藥 我關注憂鬱症的藥就像我關注激素替代療法一樣 如果能改變我腦內的化學作用到最高標準 這個藥我就會很樂意吃它 I see a psychiatrist regularly, where I talk about how I'm managing it, how I'm coping with it and how things are going in my life; I find that hugely supportive and helpful, because I find that it's one place where I can put my needs first. 我定期看心理科醫師 在那裡我會聊我如何處理憂鬱症 如何對抗憂鬱症 很多事情是怎麼的在我的生活裡發生 我發現心理醫生那裡有巨大支持和幫助 因為我發現心理醫生那裡是我可以把它放在我需要中的第一位 What would you say to someone recently diagnosed with depression? I would say, it's an illness. There's very good treatment, but you have to be very proactive in going out and getting the best mix for you. Give things a good go, but don't be content until you've got the best mix for you. 你會跟剛患憂鬱症患者建議些什麼呢? 我會說憂鬱症是一個病 而且又有非常良好的治療方法 但是為了你自己 你必須非常主動的站出來 就能得到最好的治療組合 讓事情簡單容易的進行著 但也不要太容易滿足直到找到對你最好的治療組合 If you're depressed and you have to be proactive, how difficult is that? It's incredibly difficult, and I think that's where education for the community comes in. If you have someone in your family who's been diagnosed as depressed, you can't expect that they're going to get up and do a whole lot of things on their own behalf. A good idea might be to take steps on their behalf (with their consent) and, when they're very well, say 'What would you like me to do on your behalf if you should suddenly become very ill?' So that, if they get to a point that they can't act productively on their own behalf, you've made a deal as to what can be done. 如果你有憂鬱症你必須主動的站出來它是有多困難呢? 它是難以言喻的困難 我認為這是社會教育必須參與的 如果你家人有人得了憂鬱症 你不能期待著他們會做所有的事情 最好的方法是替他們採取一些措施 還有在他們沒發病時問他們: 你發病的時候 你需要我替你做些什麼事嗎? 所以這樣他們就了解他們發病時是無法自己做很多想做的事情 你做了這個協議 就是你所能為他們做的 *憂鬱症患者是需要家人朋友的協助 憂鬱症患者也要開口請家人朋友幫忙 請參考古代中醫書解說憂鬱症 清代名醫葉天士醫案精華: 憂鬱症 http://blog.udn.com/yaqoub/3326538 如果你未滿18歲，請點選「「青少年憂鬱情緒自我檢視表」」檢測情緒！ 如果你滿18歲以上且非大學生，請點選「「台灣人憂鬱症量表」」檢測情緒！ http://www.jtf.org.tw/overblue/taiwan5/ 來源: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pspages/ps_depression?open |
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