My mother, who has witnessed the suicide of his first child, is still fighting against the pain and the self-guilt of losing his best love last year.

My aunt who just finished his only son’s funeral last month is still burying her potential anxiety and depression in her deep mind in order to pretend strong enough to take the demanding challenge of raising her only son’s three kids

My mother in law who is facing the fear and upheaval of losing his youngest son is still feeling depressed in her hostility about her son’s fatal illness.

Unlike the death and the dying, they have to make stronger and conscious choice to survive any suffering moment.

My brother who had lived destructive life for his whole life forced my mother to live with painful memories in his every self-deny and self-defeated story.

My cousin who dies of cancer which is result from his stressed finacil and mental life reminds his mother how indifferent she had been to her this poor-fated son.

My brother in law who has been ill for a long time trains his mother into being the most stressed and unhappier mother.

These poor ladies are all in my real life.
And I am there experiencing their inspiration and perspiration.
As a result, I eagerly aspired to find the meaning in grief and death.

Death told me so much
The lesson is: Live like I’m dying. Life is too short to worry. Things will take care of themselves
- Make sure no day goes without kindness to others.
- Don’t go to sleep without expressing your love, gratitude and joy especially to those you love.
- Be curious. It causes learning and there are and infinite amount of cool things to know.
- Spend time being present. Absorb everything right to your pores. Enjoy exactly where you are, you can’t control what will happen tomorrow.
- If you have a dream, pursue it. Now.
- Engage strangers. Everyone has a fascinating story they really want to share.
- Laugh at everything. It makes you feel good.
- Mend fences if they are in disrepair. It will be part of what you leave behind.

Grief told me a lot, too
I find I am skillful and powerful not only in dealing with unhappiness and sorrow but growing from it.
I have learned more about myself. I find the truth in my own life. I choose to take charge of my life through understanding my emotions. I give myself time to adjust to my new situation, as well as find the tools that will help me handle and move through the process of grief.

I am such blessed one who learn the most important lesson of life so soon: death and grief.