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2016/03/01 00:09:21瀏覽378|回應2|推薦40 | |
This post is also published on The moment before the scenes happened. Hoping to win a writer's competition held by a big publishing company, my editor and I spent more than a month finishing our book proposal. I was disappointed to find out that I was not one of the four winners selected from a total of 165 contestants. I started to cry my heart out. I did not know why I had such a response. I decided to go to feed the birds that have made a happy home for themselves in Legg Lake (El Monte, California). I bought ten bags of bread and invited my friend Jessica to come along. It was so much fun to feed these birds. Not only had I made the birds (including ducks and geese) happy, but I had also cheered myself up a bit. Feeding the birds did help me for a couple of hours. But then I was still in tears; it continued the next day. I was frustrated because I did not know how to stop my tears. Sadly I went to bed and found myself having an inner monologue. It has been a tough journey already. Let me give up OK? I found myself sobbing, asking, whining… Four hours later, I meditated in my living room. Who was there for Jesus while He carried the cross? One day later Rejoice for I am here. Three days later Finally, I got it. This competition seemed like the last straw for me. I did not win it because it was not the way it was supposed to be presented to the readers. Yes, by losing, I started to understand what it meant to win...These 165 contestants were not my competitors. Who are my competitors? It is none other than me, myself and I! It is a long journey, and somehow I fell off the track. I needed to come back to be true to myself. In other words, I had to let go in order to remember why I was writing this in the first place. I needed to remember that hard work never comes easily, nor does success. But I needed to carry on to spread the Voice’s message to everyone. No wonder I could not stop crying after the result of writer's competition came out. What a miracle to find out those tears are for rejuvenation. Moreover, they are the tears of blessings that are to come. |
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( 心情隨筆|心情日記 ) |