婚姻幽默 

Wife: 'What are you doing?妻：你在作什麼啊？ 
Husband : Nothing.夫：沒作什麼。 
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' 妻：沒作什麼？你看著我們的結婚證書，足足有一小時了。 
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.夫：我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。 
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Wife : Do you want dinner?妻：要吃晚餐嗎？ 
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?夫：當然！我可以選擇嗎？ 
Wife : 'Yes or no.'妻：要或不要。 
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
妻：為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡？ 
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
夫：當問題發生時，不管有多困難，我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。 
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!'
妻：你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊！ 
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
夫：是啊！望著妳的照片我問自己，還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢？ 
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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
女孩：婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾，以減輕你的負擔。 
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
男孩：親愛的，妳真體貼，但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。 
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
女孩：哦？那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。 
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Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.子：今早我和爹地一起搭車，他要我讓座給一位女士。 
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.母：嗯，你這麼做是對的。 
Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.子：但是，媽，我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。 
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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
一位新婚的先生問他太太：如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我，你會嫁給我嗎？ 
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
女人溫柔的答道：親愛的，不管是誰留下財產給你，我都會嫁給你的。 
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever .
女孩對著男友說：吻我一下，我就永遠屬於你了。 
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
男孩回道：謝謝您提早警告我。 
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?妻問夫：你最喜歡我哪一點？我美麗的臉龐，還是我性感的軀體？ 
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍，回道：我喜歡你的幽默感。