Saturday, 23 July
2011

Every
day regarding the day which takes a drug is weary thoroughly

對於每天吃藥的日子徹底地厭倦了

Loses
sleep the nightmare to awaken every night does not have the physical strength
all day long in the home

夜夜失眠 惡夢驚醒 沒有體力
終日在家中

The
appetite do not raise abstractness feeling

毫無食慾 更別提抽象性的感受

Where
has the habitat which may let me breathe?

哪兒有可以讓我呼吸的棲息地？

Really
good wanted to give up but only letting me support the power from

真的好想放棄了 但唯一讓我支撐地動力來自於

Dear
ones

親情

I
did not know that also how long can support

我不知道還能夠支撐多久

Eats
these many medicine in vivo liver to be unable metabolism

吃這麼多藥 體內肝臟無法代謝

Liked
on the attractive my face a pile being bewildered steadily

非常愛漂亮的我 臉上長了一堆莫名其妙的

The
biography first time dislikes my this appearance thoroughly

生平第一次徹底地討厭我這張外貌

Loathes
the inexplicable sound

厭惡莫名的聲響

Peaceful
and dark is the quarter which I most think

安靜與黑暗 是我最想住的處所

Where
if has the haunted house I to want to move but actually toward that

如果哪兒有鬼屋 我倒想往那搬

I
did not like the crowd falling in love lonely

我不喜歡人群 愛上了孤獨

Yes
I in heart's dark side exposed thoroughly in tonight

是的 在今夜我心中的黑暗面徹底地展露了

The
reason stems from bordering on my critical line

原因出自於 瀕臨我的臨界線

Will
divulge resorts to will be I is only at present in the writing can do

將宣洩訴諸于文字 是我目前唯一所能夠做的

The
sleeping pill with led the dormancy medicinal preparation to be already unable
to let my normal person's life

安眠藥與導眠劑 已經無法讓我過著正常人般的生活

One
day of dose achieves six

一天藥量達到六顆

I
can realize by oneself really I have passed away mother

我實在能夠親身體會到我已過世的媽咪

How
took a drug has eaten 30 year taste is

吃藥吃了30年的滋味是如何

The
specific weight melancholia this pathology name let my life transfer greatly
curved

重度憂鬱症 這病理名稱讓我的人生轉了個大彎

Doctor
in charge said my intelligence quotient superelevation in the average man

主治醫師說我的智商超高於常人

Let
me lose many year love

讓我失去多年的愛情

The
thorn is overspreading each night of sleep

荊棘鋪滿著每夜的睡眠

I
am love in the my life first man

我是將愛情把在我人生第一位的男人

Reckless
is I throughout regarding love principle

不顧一切是我始終對於愛情的原則

The
wonderful female has told me the human is will change

奇女子告訴過我 人是會改變的

These
words not wrong

這句話沒錯

But
I am pursuing eternal love

但是 我追求著永恆地愛情

Obviously
I was defeated

顯而易見地 我失敗了

After
the defeat, recently I explore myself gradually

失敗之後 近來我逐漸探索自己

Discovered
that I start not to be able to like the opposite sex

發現我開始不會喜歡異性

But
I will not like the homogeneity

但 我也不會喜歡同性

A
spot lies in me strangely regarding the sexual affection not in the least
desire

怪異地一點在於 我對於性愛
毫無慾望

Whether
this does mean I have fallen in love lonelily truly

這是否意味著 我真正愛上了孤單

I
start to discover itself…Satirizes very much

我開始發現自己...很諷刺

Is
pursuing eternal love throughout

始終追求著永恆地愛情

Clearly
knows in the world not eternal the thing

明知道世界上沒有永恆地事物

Whether
to mean

是否意味著

My
own existence or not importance does not exist

我自身存在與否的重要性不存在

Was
pondering all day long anything is real

終日思考著 什麼是 真實

After
getting out of bed, looks at the clock 1:00 pm

起床之後 看時鐘 下午一點

Thinking

想想

Bustles
about the human who pursues oneself desire to be real?

忙碌追求自己慾望的人 真實嗎?

Mediocre
one days of another day-long person has been being real?

庸碌過著一天又一天的人
真實嗎?

I
eat up food to be real?

我吃下食物 真實嗎?

Can
rely any was confirming that all these are real not empty

能夠倚賴著什麼證實這一切是
真實不虛

If
this world does not exist eternal

倘若這世界不存在永恆地

Whether
that authentic another one side should be essential

那真實性的另一側是否就應是本質性

Essential
is humanity's common sense of fear origin

本質性是人類共同的恐懼感來源

Why

為何

Unknown
feeling

未知感

But
my not frightened curiosity makes to cause to so wants to spy on it

但我並不恐懼 好奇心使然
想窺探它

Some
school of thought philosopher thought that this world all things all are
composed of the digit

某學派哲學家 認為 這世界一切事物都皆由數字所組成

I
slightly feel the approval

我略感認同

Why

為何

probability

機率

How
does the digit suspend is 0 to 9

數字怎麼擺都是0至9

Also
believe the banker credit card cash card etc.

還會去相信銀行家 信用卡
現金卡 等等..

The
dividend points should not be stupid

紅利點數 別蠢了

Digit
0 to 9

數字0至9

But
how is to suspend lets the humanity be willing to enjoy that vanity

只不過是如何擺得讓人類甘願去享受那份虛榮心

Real
not empty?

真實不虛？

The
humanity only needs the protein, the mineral substance and the moisture
content, can the survival

人類只需要蛋白質、礦物質與水分，就能夠存活

Nature
law right?

大自然定律 是嗎？

Some
habits surely have the exception

有常態就必定有例外

Jumps
a topic my ponder pattern already custom caper type

跳個話題 我的思考模式已習慣跳躍式

My
primary affection lets me not study gets over an emotion

我的初次戀情 讓我還沒有學習到
釋懷

Because
the object is my mother

因為 對象是我的媽咪

The
my first section of affection lets me study freely

我的第一段戀情 讓我學習到自由

The
my second section of affection lets me study forgiveness

我的第二段戀情 讓我學習到寬恕

The
pardoned crime discusses the viewpoint cuts into

原罪論的觀點切入

My
existence real not empty?

我的存在 真實不虛？

The
logic pondered result

邏輯性去思考的結果

The
answer is the denial

答案是否定

Why

為何

Because
if the pardoned crime accomplishes following love the fruit

倘若原罪的因 造就後續愛情的果

The
causal relation is untenable

因果關係並不成立

Jumps
a topic

跳個話題

Today
watched the Western black-and-white movie

今日看了部 西方黑白電影

A
wealthy family female has been only then handsome with a youth marries

一位富家女已與一位青年才俊結婚

Accidentally
meets another youth

偶然間遇上另一位青年

This
youth falls in love with this wealthy family female to want to lead her to
elope goes

這位青年愛上這位富家女
想帶著她私奔而去

It
can be imagined encounters resists

可想而知 遭到拒絕

The
youth said:

You
not long after have observed your father when the breakfast,

will
not express gratitude with your mother thanks you.

青年說：妳曾幾何時觀察過妳的父親在早餐時，已不會與妳母親道聲謝謝妳

The
end wealthy family females elope with this youth go

劇終 富家女與此青年私奔而去

The
very tasteless obsolete movie but sends the person province to think

挺乏味的老舊電影 但發人省思

Would
rather has been tracking down the innermost feelings with its irrevocable
tasteless day the hope

與其過著一成不變的乏味日子
倒不如追尋內心的渴望

In
my rest of the year said that the sentence truth I do not think the live long
time

在我有生之年 說句實話
我並不想活久

Perhaps
30 year old of foot

也許30歲 足夠了

I
will decide will be complete a story to write the completely human nature for
the bottom each kind of appearance

我定會完全一本 已故事為底
寫盡人性的各種面貌

The
human lives in this world the minutes and seconds does not stop does is
choosing

The
selectivity occupied each person to live  majority of

選擇性佔據了每個人 生活中的絕大部分

What
satirizes is the decision which chooses by own will holds how many?

諷刺的是 由自己意志所選擇的決定
佔有多少呢？

Permanent
love does not need to construct under any support

永恆性的愛情 不需要建構在任何支架之下

The
social value will thoroughly only destroy the permanent love

社會價值只會徹底地毀滅永恆性的愛情

But
I am still pursuing, even if it does not exist

但 我依然追求著 即使它不存在

Jumps
again a topic

再跳個話題

I
was always suspecting the knowledge origin is whether correct

我始終懷疑著知識的來源是否正確

Pondered
all day long custom

終日思考的習慣

The
logic is discussing the causal relation throughout

邏輯性始終在探討著因果關係

Aptness?

適當性呢？

Whether
the counter-logical existence's inevitability should inspect pondered accuracy

反邏輯性存在的必然性是否應該檢視著思考的正確性

After
breaking through logical non-rational product

突破邏輯性之後的非理性產物

Has
pulled back the subject

拉回了正題

The
humanity is the non-rational animal is camouflaging the rational human nature

人類是非理性的動物偽裝著理性的人性

Lies
in me is also the humanity laughably

可笑在於 我也是人類

besides

況且

I
did not think that I am the humanity

我不認為我是人類

Jumps
again a topic

再跳個話題

Perhaps
the war leaves the life to be remote in peace humanity

戰爭或許離生活在和平的人類
非常遙遠

But
the war minutes and seconds are carrying on fact

但 事實上戰爭分秒在進行著

This
means that the truth is the humanity is the animal which the affection
slaughters

這意味著真相是 人類是喜愛殺戮的動物

on
the contrary

反之

Other
animals slaughterare to continue their next generation

其他動物們 殺戮是為了延續自己的下一代

The
ugly human goal lies in the concrete application and the abstraction value

醜陋的人類 目的在於具體化與抽象化的價值

Jumps
a topic I to like the caper-like ponder pattern again

再跳個話題 我非常喜愛跳躍式的思考模式

Why
does the my first girlfriend teach me to be free; Good she

我第一任女友 教會我自由為何；善良的她

Why
does the my second girlfriend teach me to forgive; Evil she

我第二任女友 教會我寬恕為何；邪惡的她

The
interesting place lies in that me own?

有意思之處在於 那我自身呢？

Perhaps
has the multiple personalities with me to have the relations

或許與我有多重人格有關係

I
can be together with all kinds of person

我能夠與各式各樣的人相處

Understands
each person's demand

懂得每個人的需求

No
matter is on the material or the mind

不論是物質上抑或心靈上

Jumps
again a topic

再跳個話題

I
have been weary of the long conversation

我厭倦了冗長的談話

Because
I only am want to test the human nature

因為我只是想測試人性

Very
interesting

挺有趣地

Thank
you for every good friends

謝謝各位好友