撒旦聖經起頭有九條訓示 (Nine Satanic Statements):

 1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.

     撒旦主張放縱而非禁欲。

 2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
 
     撒旦主張現實的生存而非精神上的空想。

 3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.

     撒旦主張純粹的智慧而不是虛偽的自我欺騙。

 4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted  on ingrates.

     撒旦主張應對值得之人仁心，而不是把愛浪費在忘恩負義之人。

 5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
     撒旦主張復仇而不是容忍。

 6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!

     撒旦主張對於有責任心者才談責任感，而不是關心超自然的吸血鬼！

 7.Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine    spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all.

     撒旦認為人只不過是一種動物，有時高尚一點，但是更多時候比用四足行走的動物更壞。因為他們超凡的靈性和智慧發展，成為最邪惡的動物。

 8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.

     撒旦讚美那些能夠帶給人們肉體、心理和情感滿足的所謂「罪惡」。

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years.
 
     撒旦是教會向來最好的朋友，因為他讓教會多年來興盛不衰。

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看起來撒旦還蠻有人文氣息，我喜歡。