It Has Been A Tough Year, But.... (English) - 笨腳獸的佈樂閣

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It Has Been A Tough Year, But.... (English)

2010/10/10 00:48:07瀏覽1852｜回應19｜推薦116

The following is an extremely funny joke shared by a very close friend of mine who has been working for the U.S. Justice Department for over 30 years:

It has been a tough year, but I made it....

But not everyone is as lucky as I am....

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a single-cheese burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Malibu and Beverly Hills are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Hotline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

( 休閒生活｜笑話 )

引用網址：https://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=DrGaryTeng&aid=4485653


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	pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）等級：8 留言｜加入好友

珍珠打廣告

2010/11/19 07:22

格友鼻塞總是哄我為專欄作家，我沒有作家的筆，但是我有不匱乏的人生經歷，能有自己的專欄是我建立部落格的始衷。得到鼻塞常常給我的鼓勵，我有了開闢專欄的想法，每天像林大老師一樣，用簡短的文字介紹自己過去工作的第一手所見所聞。這個專欄就叫‘once upon a time...........’

敬邀笨腳獸支持指教。

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-19 11:45 回覆：

我們都要有眼福了!

恭喜恭喜!

以您優美的文筆, 廣泛的人生閱歷, 獨特的見解...

您的專欄必篇篇精彩可讀.

Congratulations!!!

I will be one of your most devoted, faithful, and admiring fans.


	pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）等級：8 留言｜加入好友

可惜

2010/11/14 20:01

我沒有當過你的學生，否則我會常常讓老師有腦力激蕩的機會，永遠智慧長青。

Thanks for your efforts to give the answers in order to kill my curiosity.

Well, it seems that US is taking an extreme measure which is 害人利己 and understandable to the circumstances. (at least it is better than the way of 害人害己 as she used to do in recent years)

All the best for you guys in the United States.

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-16 08:36 回覆：

Thanks again for your empathy and great questions

You may be right -- With your constant probing and challenging questions, I might have been 永遠智慧長青.

Well, it seems that US is taking an extreme measure which is 害人害己 this time. It will not only destroy its own monetary system, it may well cause global currency turmoil and instability.

Lets hope for the best and prepare for the worst.


	pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）等級：8 留言｜加入好友

政治權力

2010/11/13 10:23

如果存心搞垮貨幣制度以獲得權力大肆操作，真是太可怕了。是危言聳聽嗎？

美金自己貶值已經達到讓其他外幣升值的效果。既然美國是龍頭老大，大家會跟著貶值。貶不了的就等於被迫升值了。

美國這一招是不是有點不道德？而且聽說美金貶值的比還沒有跟所印的鈔票量成比例，表示美金現在是很不值錢啊！

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-14 13:18 回覆：

Why you always have so many tough questions for me?! In retrospect, I am so glad that you were NOT one of my former students, or lese I would have been 狼豺兩失 (i.e., losing all of my hairs, and all of my money in order to buy more books to find the answers for you.)

I have carefully observed and studied American government and political system for almost four decades. (I almost got my Ph.D. degree in American Studies from the most prestige institute in this field.) The followings are my conclusions:

1. 美國政府是在存心搞垮其貨幣制度, 以獲得權力大肆操作. 真是太可怕了! but it is not 危言聳聽.

2. Although the current occupant in the White House 毆爸媽 had attended one of the most radical churches in the U.S. which is preaching the Black Liberation Theology for 20 years, he is a closet Muslim.

3. His closest circle is packed with radical and dangerous socialists and progressive extremists. (Great minds think alike.)

4. They believe that the end always justifies the means.

I will stop here. Have a great weekend.


	pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）等級：8 留言｜加入好友

美國印鈔票

2010/11/12 13:40

請問笨腳獸，美國國內學者對印鈔票有什麼看法？這好像不對勁。

我猜是不是奧巴馬來 G20的策略，逼中國面對人民幣升值的要求。如果人民幣升值，美金就不必繼續貶。你說呢？

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-13 04:10 回覆：

Excellent question, but no easy answers!

The U.S. Federal Reserve is printing money like crazy (about 850 billions in total in QE2) to purchase the U.S. government bonds issued by the Treasury Department. It is like writing an "I Owe You" note to oneself. To put it in another way, it is just like to drink deadly poisoned water to crunch the thirst.

According to most economists, the outcome of this so-called "monetizing of the debt" could be catastrophic. It could result in the devaluation of the U.S. dollars (about 20%) and hyperinflation (especially in the food price). Some reputable experts speculate that the true intention is to on purposely collapse the U.S. monetary system so the federal government can gain more power and control over its people.

Remember the Weimar Regime in German after the World War I and the Zimbabwe government a few years ago?!

The main purposes of forcing the Chinese government to devalue its currency are three folds:

1. To increase the exports of American goods to China.

2. To decrease the imports of Chinese goods to America.

3. To dilute the U.S. debt owed to China.

There is no direct relationship between the "monetizing of the debt" and the "forced devaluation of RMB".


	柔不茹剛亦不吐等級：8 留言｜加入好友

YA, IT STILL WILL LAST ANOTHER 2-3 YEARS

2010/11/11 16:58

SOME COUNTIES IN MY AREA, THEY HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN OR MERGE POLICE STATIONS AS WELL AS FIRE STATIONS. REGARDING MICKEYDEE FAST FOOD CHAINS, I THINK IT'S A GOOD TIMING TO LET THOSE OVER WEIGHT WHITE & BLACK & SPANISH PEOPLE LOSE THEIR WEIGHT, IN ORDER V DON'T HAVE TO PAY HIGH HEALTH INSURANCE PREMIUM, BECAUSE V AS TAX PAYERS, V WILL HAVE TO PAY THEIR PORTION PREMIUM AS WELL. EVERYONE IS DOING DAY TRADE INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR A JOB, THAT'S WHY IT MAKES STOCK MARKET GOES SO HIGH, KIDS WON'T GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE IN 4 YEARS, DUE TO SHORT OF BUDGE, PROFESSORS, CLASS....

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-13 02:04 回覆：

Thanks to the extreme left, progressive, and socialist, the America is rapidly turning into a nanny state.

The Federal Reserve is printing $$$ all day long. Soon the U.S. dollars will be devalued (about 20%) and there will be hyper inflation (especially in the food price). The country is indeed in a big mass.

The place where I live (sunny California) has the third highest unemployment rate and the biggest state budget deficit. Crime is on the rise and soon there may be social unrest.

I sincerely hope you are right in that the tough time will only last another 2-3 years.


	痴等級：7 留言｜加入好友

雖一身傷

2010/11/03 11:32

卻氣宇宣揚..想必勝得很驕傲

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-11-03 13:58 回覆：

親愛的痴,

感謝您的回應.

誒! 雖然勝得很驕傲, 但也很辛苦.

只是在苟奄殘喘哪.


	岳肅&蔡子峰等級：7 留言｜加入好友

hehe

2010/10/29 12:03

Oh my gosh...... It's so funny!

Can I have that Mother Hen?

I wanna bbq its ass, haha!

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-10-30 04:10 回覆：

親愛的 BLUE & GREEN DESTINY,

Thank you for your encouragement and compliment.

Sorry! That mother hen had been roasted and served on the dinner table last night, (but I did remember to save its ass for you.)

Enjoy it!


	pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）等級：8 留言｜加入好友

It has been a tough year

2010/10/23 21:16

in America, and I realize that it is a blessing that I am an Australian instead of an American.

I guess that the American women may be keen to marry the guys like our hero Crocodile Dundee.

Who dares to make fun of the fair dinkum Aussie accent again?

笨腳獸 (洗腥割面重出江湖)(DrGaryTeng) 於 2010-10-24 08:35 回覆：

親愛的 Pearl,

You are indeed very blessed.

You are an Australian living in China where the economy is very vibrant and booming. Lucky you!

Yes! Crocodile Dundee is a famous household name here in the United States. Besides, one of my most favorite musical bands – Bee Gees – also started its career in Australia.

The only thing I dare to make fun of is Aussie slot machines.