你曾經靠近響尾蛇嗎？如果有，那你可能會注意到，當你越靠近這種毒蛇時，其尾巴發出的沙沙響聲就會越劇烈、越大聲。根據科學期刊《當代生物學》的研究顯示，響尾蛇感到威脅迫近時，的確會增加尾部響環的震動頻率。這種「高頻模式」會讓人產生錯覺，以為牠們離我們很近，但實際上並非如此。正如一位研究人員所說：「聽者對距離的誤判⋯⋯可以產生一定的安全距離。」

有時候，人們在衝突中會增加聲量，講出難聽的話語，以憤怒和大聲咆哮，讓人知難而退。面對這種情況，有位智者分享了一些睿智的建議，例如：「回答柔和，使怒消退；言語暴戾，觸動怒氣」（箴言15章1節）；他接著又說：「說安慰話的舌頭是生命樹」；「智慧人的嘴唇散播知識」（4、7節，新譯本）。

耶穌要我們柔和地對待那些與我們產生衝突的人，並給了我們很好的理由，就是以愛待人能表明我們是祂的兒女（馬太福音5章43-45節），此外，我們也要尋求和解以得回他們（18章15節）。願我們在衝突中不再大聲嚷嚷或惡言相向，而是在上帝的聖靈引導下，用謙和的態度以禮相待、展現智慧和愛人的心。

Ever had a close encounter with a rattlesnake? If so, you might have noticed that the sound of the rattle seemed to get more intense as you moved nearer to the viper. Research in the scientific journal Current Biology reveals that the snakes do increase their rattling rate when a threat is approaching. This “high-frequency mode” can cause us to think they’re closer than they are. As one researcher put it, “The misinterpretation of distance by the listener . . . creates a distance safety margin.”

People can sometimes use increasing volume with harsh words that push others away during a conflict—exhibiting anger and resorting to shouting. The writer of Proverbs shares some wise advice for times like these: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). He goes on to say that “soothing” and “wise” words can be “a tree of life” and a source of “knowledge” (vv. 4, 7).

Jesus provided the ultimate reasons for gently appealing to those with whom we enter into conflict: extending love that reveals us to be His children (Matthew 5:43–45) and seeking reconciliation—“[winning] them over” (18:15). Instead of raising our voice or using unkind words during conflicts, may we show civility, wisdom, and love to others as God guides us by His Spirit.