為什麼男人總是聽不懂女人在說什麼呢? 是女人太複雜還是男人思想太簡單?

一個法國朋友傳給我這個文章，看起來不管東方或西方，男女間的問題似乎是一樣的 :-) 閱讀同時聽聽底下這首美麗旋律的法文歌吧 La Mer by Kevin Kline

Women's English vs. Men's English 女人和男人的對話

WOMEN'S ENGLISH... 女人說...

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3.Maybe=No

或許=No
4. We need = I want...

我們須要=我要
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

I am sorry = 應該是你的問題

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

我們須要談一下=我有事要抱怨
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to 

沒問題，你去吧=我不想讓你去

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

做你想做的 = 你等一下死定了 
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron

我沒有在生氣 = 我當然在生氣 還用問嘛
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

你有再聽我說嘛 = 你死定了
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

你應該要學習去溝通 = 聽我的就對了
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

關掉燈 浪漫一點 = 不想讓你看到我的大腿鬆弛 
13. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

你愛我嘛 =我看上了一個不便宜的東西 我要你幫我買
14. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

那是你的決定 = 現在應該很明顯什麼才識正確的決定

15. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

你今晚非常體貼 = 你腦子裡只有sex嗎?
16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

在幾分鐘我就好了 = 你還是找個電視遊戲來玩吧

MEN'S ENGLISH... 男人說….

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

我餓了=我餓了
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

我想睡了=我想睡了
3. I am tired = I am tired

我累了=我累了
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

妳穿的很美=妳穿的低胸衣服很美
5. I love you = Let's have sex now

我愛你=我們做愛吧
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

我很無聊=妳想做愛嗎?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

有什嘛不對嗎?= 我猜不會有sex了
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

我可請你跳支舞嗎? = 我想要和妳上床
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

我可以call妳嗎? =我想要和妳上床
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

妳想看電影嗎? =我想要和妳上床
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

我可以請你吃晚餐嗎? =我想要和妳上床
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

妳可以嫁給我嗎? = 我要讓別的男人跟妳上床變成不合法
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes

妳看起來很緊張，我來給你個按摩 =我想要在三分鐘內和妳上床

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you

我們談談吧 = 我想讓妳覺得我是個體貼有深度的人，然後我想要和妳上床