My New Dentist

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I don't look that old"? Well if you have, you'll love this one:

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room preparing for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his DDS Diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then? Upon seeing him however I quickly discarded this thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my class mate.

After he examined my teeth (just for kicks) I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang,' He said, gleaming with pride.

'When did you graduate?' I asked.

He answered, 'In 1975. Why do you ask?'

'You were in my class!', I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, and then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, grey-haired, decrepit son of a bitch asked me 'What did you teach?'

【中文翻譯】

您是否曾經自責過看到與自己年齡相仿的人然後心裡想著：「我才不像他這麼老。」如果真有過，您一定喜歡以下的故事：

我叫愛麗絲‧史密斯，第一次去看預約的新牙醫，在等待室候診時，我注意執照上他的全名。

突然，我想起一位卅年前高中班上有一位高大英俊的黑髮男孩與他同名，他是否就是我曾暗戀的對象呢？當一眼見到他時，我很快就放棄這個的想法。因為這個禿頭灰髮臉部深縐的男人比我的同學老太多了。

當他檢查完我的牙齒後，（純屬消遣）我開口問他是否曾就讀摩根園區高中。

「是啊，我是，我是野馬」他閃爍著一種驕傲。

「您何時畢業的？」我問。

「喔，1975，為何問這個呢？」他答。

我驚嘆地說：「你在我的班級！」

他很近的打量著我，然後這個很醜、很老、禿頭、皺紋、肥屁股、灰髮的、衰老、婊子的兒子問我：

「您是教什麼的？」