8. “The Role-Experience Potion”

Working in the technology industry is a job many people envy, and a “research and development engineer” is especially favored among the ranks of the “new elite in technology.” The generous compensation allowed me to buy a house and a car in no time, but behind those glamorous financial conditions was the physical and mental torment of working day and night, burning through my health in exchange for income.

One weekend, my good friend Xiao Qiu dragged me to church for Sunday worship and introduced me to a priest and several fellow worshippers. In the past, I did not believe in any religion whatsoever; I believed only in “falling into bed and sleeping.” As the priest led the prayer service, I could not resist taking the opportunity to complain to God, and I even defiantly challenged Him, saying, “Unless you can help me escape this life of suffering, I won’t believe you exist.”

That box of potions appeared after a strange dream. In the dream, a beautiful winged angel told me that God had heard my complaints during my prayer and had specifically sent her to deliver this box of magical potions, allowing me to experience different roles.

“After you have experienced several different roles, if you like a particular role and decide to stop experiencing the others, simply pour the remaining potions into that empty potion bottle, and it will turn into an antidote.”

“But what if I want to return to my original role?”

“Then take a sip of the antidote, and you will return to your original appearance.”

So, a few days later, one evening, I decided to begin a fantastical journey of experiencing different roles. The first potion that caught my interest was “Beautiful Talented Woman.” After drinking it in one gulp, I followed the instructions, lay down on my bed, closed my eyes, silently made a wish, and soon drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning, my alarm clock woke me. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and discovered that my bedroom had been completely transformed into a girl’s room. Posters from my concert performances hung on the walls, and even the pajamas I was wearing were pink with lace trim.

“Am I a pop singer now?” I was still wondering when my phone rang.

“Xiaoyu, I’ll pick you up with a makeup artist in an hour. That lunch meeting is very important. Chairman Kuo is one of our major sponsors, so you need to keep him happy.”

“Who are you? Why do I have to go eat with him?” I scratched my cheek, my brain still booting up, and replied irritably.

“I’m your manager, Xiao Qiu! Did you buy tranquilizers and take them again? I told you not to randomly buy over-the-counter medicine. It’s making you completely dazed and out of it...” I was too lazy to listen to the lecture and casually hung up the phone.

The lunch meeting turned out to be even more horrifying than a midnight nightmare. “Chairman Kuo” looked just like a big-bellied fish, with so much flesh piled beneath his face that he looked like the head of a huge boar. He repeatedly reached out with his wandering hands to pinch my buttocks and even tried to touch my breasts. If I had not quickly pushed his hands away, who knows what would have happened. This old lecher actually offered to keep me as his mistress! I deliberately kept him waiting for an answer, telling him that I would seriously consider his offer, and after quite a struggle, I finally managed to get away.

Back at the recording studio, I did not feel any better. I sang through a new song twice, yet I still felt that my interpretation was not quite right.

“A singer’s life is really just a dream.” After struggling with it for more than a month, on the night before the record was scheduled to be recorded, I sat by the window and stared at myself in the vanity mirror, carefully recalling everything that had happened during the past month. In the end, I concluded that the role of a female singer was not suitable for me.

So I took out the potion box and selected one labeled “Big Boss.” After drinking it in one gulp, I followed the instructions, lay down on my bed, closed my eyes, silently made a wish, and soon drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning, the butler knocked on my bedroom door. My maid, Sister A-Tao, helped me get dressed and ready. After breakfast, I had the chauffeur drive me to the company, where I presided over a meeting with the heads of all the departments.

Every department manager had prepared a PowerPoint presentation, and each gave a ten-minute report on the operations and performance of his or her department. I patiently listened to every report in detail, and after what seemed like an endless meeting, it finally came to an end.

“Being a big boss really isn’t something an ordinary person can handle.” On my office desk was a huge pile of documents waiting for my approval. After work and on weekends, there were also endless social engagements with other business executives.

I could not help asking my executive assistant, “Why do I have to be this busy every day, like a spinning top, with almost no time of my own?”

The executive assistant tactfully replied, “Boss, because this is your business.”

“Can you arrange a vacation for me, maybe ten days or half a month, so I can travel abroad and clear my head?”

The executive assistant looked troubled. “Well... that might be difficult, unless you are comfortable leaving the company’s operations to Vice President Qiu...”

“Vice President Qiu...” I thought to myself, “That guy isn’t sharp enough. If I leave the company to him, those department managers will probably be thrilled to slack off and do whatever they want. Clearly, that won’t work.”

And so it went, day after day: going to work, approving documents, presiding over meetings; after work and on weekends, attending business dinners and social engagements, followed by visits to hotels and spas. After two months, I realized I was truly exhausted by it all, so I decided to change roles one more time.

This time, the role was “travel writer,” writing freelance articles for a travel magazine. It seemed to suit me quite well. When I was in college, I had read Japanese novelist Yasunari Kawabata’s Snow Country. The protagonist, Shimamura, was a professional writer who regularly traveled to the snow-covered countryside every winter, where he spent time with geishas. Ever since then, I had longed for that kind of carefree, almost heavenly life.

Wearing a trench coat, jacket, and suspendered trousers, I carried a digital camera, a small laptop, and a high-end smartphone. This trip was to introduce three of Japan’s ancient capitals: Kyoto, Nara, and Kamakura. The magazine assigned me an assistant named Xiao Qiu who was fluent in Japanese. She was a little sprite of Taiwanese-Japanese mixed heritage, quick-witted and considerate.

The two of us worked together with remarkable understanding. Throughout the journey, we felt almost like a newlywed couple on our honeymoon, and I began to develop the desire to start a family of my own.

This final experience of changing roles led me to make my decision. I no longer envied the big bosses, nor did I want to become a work machine in the technology industry, laboring day and night. I realized that I should live my life to be free and happy, rather than sacrificing freedom and happiness for a career or wealth.