「看喲，馬麻像不像芭比？」
「What Barbie?」 「Where?」
孩子們，你是媽親生的嗎？


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

網上讀到，有一陣子台灣很流行燙睫毛、接睫毛。
這種低侵略、非永久性，可「復原」的搞怪，最適合我了啦！

於是週五深夜抵台北，週一中午就迫不及待地躺平在整形醫院…附設的睫毛工作室中嚐鮮了。

幫我加工的這位漂亮美眉強調她的睫毛全自然，完全沒接過；我關心的卻是她明顯生澀的手藝。

一個半小時後完工，戴上眼鏡，隨著眼皮眨巴眨巴地「貼嘶朵、貼嘶朵」(test、test)，過長的兩片毛蟲像盡職的汽車雨刷般，來來回回地刷呀～～刷。

不同的是：它們上下刷動，而且刷的是我鏡片內側。

這兩片毛蟲讓我每一眨眼，就有半秒的黑暗期 – 太濃密了啦！與人談話簡直像垂簾聽政一般。

但說也奇怪，多了兩片羽扇般的長睫毛，感覺自己好優雅，尊貴極了！舉手投足都像慢動作，也不時呲牙儍笑 – 明眸總要搭配皓齒嘛！偶爾也自覺轉頭抬眼簡直像電視廣告的芭比娃娃一樣……蠢.。

隨後幾週，眨眼的頻率大增，惟恐「沒人注意」到我有多麼「芭比」；三不五時還因忙著眨眼忘了合上嘴。

雖然事後發現:左眼明顯殘留沒塗勻的黑色接著膠，但兩片濃密的睫毛好似矇閉了我少許的理智，一天到晚覺得自己美得可了不得了，而且：「應該沒人」會注意到那坨黑膠。

可以維持二～三個月的「羽扇」在我的過度使用下，六週後功成「扇」退，這時，我那好友Nathan開口了：

…一直想講，妳左眼…是不是眼屎沾到睫毛？好久了，從妳回來就釀子，怎麼現在沒了…

哼，哼哼～～這算什麼哥兒們嘛！
為免他再有什麼誤會，於是，這位仁兄被我強押著去看我打雷射，那就是另一段「斑斑日記」了。





《Aqua - BarbieGirl》

Hi Barbie
Hi Ken!
Do you wanna go for a ride?
Sure Ken!
Jump In...

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,
hit the town, fool around, let's go party
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uu-oooh-u)

Oh, I'm having so much fun!
Well Barbie, we're just getting started
Oh, I love you Ken!