Dec 4, 2013

雖然說人生短暫一晃就過, 但是人生是很辛苦的, 從開始 到最後, 每一分, 每一秒, 我們都得為它努力著…. . . .

又是進入倒數計日的時刻了. 2013所 剩下的日子指日可數了. . . .

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被老公催去探望執友的母親 . 跟我說: 她的日子不多了 還不去見見她? 語氣中又帶有威脅的口氣: “妳不要後悔喔 ! 如果她走了, 沒見到妳 , 不怕她的魂跟著妳轉?”

他是跟我開玩笑的, 我知道. 但是我可承受不起這種玩笑. 我可不是怕鬼, 而是無法承受這種永遠無法彌補的遺憾 . 雖然就只是見一面這麼小的事, 它雖輕卻重的讓我無法承受. 這就是所謂的生命中無法承受的輕吧!

想起前些年叔叔走之前, 從山中打電話來, 要跟我說話. 我正在廚房忙, 很惱他無事老是煩人. 他老了說話又不清, 在電話中更本聽不出他在說什麼. 所以要孩子跟他說 我在廚房忙, 沒法接他的電話等會再打給他. 但是我卻沒打. 大概是因此傷了他老人家的心了, 他再沒有打來.

沒想到不久 ,他就病重了. 就算是我想跟他說話, 他也沒有說話的力氣了. 雖然之前, 我們已去山中見過他 算是見了他最後一面. 但是沒跟他說上最後一句話. 這讓我心中一直歉疚, 為何當時沒放下手邊的工作 去接他電話? 就是隨便應付他一下都好. 至少不會有如今的這種的遺憾.

所以老公開的這種玩笑, 之於我並不好笑. 僅管我是怎樣不喜歡去執友的老媽家, 我還是去了

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她胖胖的身子經過兩次開刀 瘦了一大圈. 見到我們來, 坐了起來, 雖沒力氣說話 ,但是神智還是很清處. 我跟她一向在語言上溝通有問題. 不過這些年我說我的, 她說她的. 她還是很喜歡我. 甚過她的媳婦. 常在她的媳婦面前誇我. 也藉機諷刺她的媳婦們. 她這種作法讓我很不舒服. 這也是我不願去她家的原因.

雖然知道她的情況不妙, 但也沒想到見過她之後 兩三天她就走了. 這種突然, 讓我一早平靜的心湖就開始起波浪. 也慶幸自己即時見了她最後一面. . . .

手上一邊忙著煮飯, 不安的心卻跟著我在廚房裏走來走去的腳步在前後盤纏. 想過去種種, 想這老媽的樣子, 又想到自己現在的"忙" . 是種存在的表徵. 存在是因為護照簽證還沒過期. 而她的護照簽證已到期 , 所以走了. 不見了

簽證? 是誰給簽的呢? 每一個人的簽證期的長短又不一. 自己也不知道到底自己給簽了幾天.

所以 過一天是一天. 每一天都應該好好地過 . 好好地活 . 活地快樂, 活地自在. 為別人更要為自己~ 好好地活. 該做的, 想做的, 通通都要做完. 想要的, 想享受的, 都要盡力享受到 . 不要讓人生留有一點空隙可以有機會產生遺憾. , , ,

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老年雖是人生中的落幕黃昏. 可是黃昏的美, 卻給一天作了最美麗的結束. 前幾天夜裏睡不著 .讀了奧修師父的一篇有關老年的文章. 師父真地是師父, 替落幕黃昏畫上了最美麗的色彩. 這麼美麗的天空, 我不想一個人獨享.也分享給在讀此文的你.

師父說:

Much that they (old people) always wanted to do and had no time to do … now they have time, they have money. They can paint, they can sculpt

老年人可以實現他們年輕時想做卻沒時間做的事 .現在他們有時間, 有錢 ,他們可以畫畫, 可以雕刻,,,,,

My own idea is that special classes should be opened in every university for these old people who want to learn painting, who want to learn sculpture, who want to learn music, who want to learn dancing. They should enter the university again, a second phase of education.

我的想法是所有的大學都應該為老年人開些特別的課, 讓老年人有機會作第二次進修, 學習.他們想學的,,, 如畫畫 ,雕刻, 音樂, 舞蹈 ,等等 …

I have always had the idea that the first phase of education is the preparation for life and the second phase of education should be the preparation for death.

我總是有這種觀念 ,人生中的第一段教育階段是為生活作準備 而第二階段的學習應該是為死亡作準備.

You don’t have any preparation for death, no education for death. This is a lopsided situation.

沒有為死亡作準備作學習的人, 陷己身於傾斜的狀況.

A person has lived half his life, and you trained him, educated him. Now the other half should not be left barren like a desert. He should begin again, with the second part of his education.

一個人已經走了半輩子, 受父母 , 師長, 社會 訓練, 教育. 現在他的下半輩子不應該像似荒漠被遺棄. 他應該再出發, 再受第二次教育 .

He meditates, he learns creative arts, he dances. He writes poetry, novels.

他靜坐 ,他學習, 他創造藝術, 他跳舞, 他寫詩, 寫小說….

Whatever he wanted to do in life… now life has respectfully give him time to do everything that has been just a desire in his mind, just a dream. Now it can be turned into a reality.

生命中他所想做的任何事, 現在生命给他時間去完成. 那些事之於他曾經只是一種淺在的欲望 或只是一個夢想 . 現在都將實現.

And he should be freed from all old bondage- marriage, or any other kind of bondage- So he can start new adventures in every direction.

並且他應該脫下之於他一切老的束縛. 如婚姻 ,或是任何的束縛 . 因此他可以自由地往他想去的方向作冒險.

We can make the second part so beautiful that people who are still in the first part will fell jealous, will feel, “How long will it take for me to be retired ?- because those old guys are really enjoying it. We are working, earning; they are simply relaxing, taking sunbaths on different beaches around the world, with different women,.”

我們可以讓第二段的生命如此美麗. 美麗到讓還是停留在第一段的人忌妒. 讓他們想: “ 我還有多久才可以退休呢? 這些老夥子真是享受啊! 我們還在辛苦工作賺錢 , 而他們什麼都不做 ,只享受. 與不同的女人 在世界各個不同的海灘享受日光浴.”

The old people have to defeat the young- there is no need to be defeated. Rigt now they have taken a very defeatist attitude.

老人應該打敗年輕, 不需要被打敗 . 現代老人已經具有打敗年老的氣勢了

They should take it as a challenge: “Now we will prove that old age is not a misery, that is can become a tremendously beautiful experience.”

老年人應該視年老為一種挑戰 : “現在我們要證明年老不是悲慘可憐 . 年老應該可以成為一種非常美麗的經驗 .”

In fact, it has to be more beautiful than the first phase, because the first phase was only a preparation for the second.

事實上 年老可以比第一段更要美麗 . 因為第一段的存在只是在為第二段做準備.

And the second is the preparation for the eternal.

而第二段是在為”永恆”作準備 . , , , , ,

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第一段只是在為第二段作準備 ~ 這句話說地真是深得吾心啊! 

你的時鐘在到數計時了嗎? 準備好了嗎? 不用擔心 ,不用緊張. 你會有足夠的時間讓自己準備好. 為自己的那片黃昏天空圖上最美麗的色彩

Songwriters: MASON, SANDY

When I Dream

Carol Kidd

 

could have a mansion that is higher than the trees

I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please

I could fly to Paris, oh, it's at my beck and call

Why do I go through life with nothing at all?

 

But when I dream, I dream of you

Maybe someday you will come true

 

I can be the singer or the clown in every room

I can even call someone to take me to the moon

I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane

I can go to bed alone and never know his name

 

But when I dream, I dream of you

Maybe someday you will come true

 

But when I dream, I dream of you

Maybe someday you will come true