I am so sick of everything right now…

I don’t want to be me at the moment…

I am so sick of being the nice person and get push over…

A lot of things, I will be damn if I do it and I will be damn if I don’t do it…

Why everything has to be so complicated?

Why can’t I just be me? Just happy and can do whatever I can and not be told off?

I am so tired, I don’t think I can put up with this anymore…
All the good things I have done don’t count, and all the mistake I have been told off…
I don’t know what to do…
All I can do is sit here and play on my computer and eat and try to tell myself everything is going to be okay soon…

Truth to be told, everything is not okay…
But lying to myself is the only way I know to protect me that help me to survive this…
One day, truth is going to be out and it is not going to be pretty. Or I will just go crazy and be send away to mental hospital…
I know it’s not good to suppress my feelings, but when my feeling start causing problem, I rather hide them…

Only thing I can do is pretend...