Herewith is a modest list of dos and don’ts for servers at the seafood restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses, libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature. And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks, reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that role?
這份「可」與「不可」的服務準則，是我為籌備中的海鮮餐廳而訂。經過資深侍者、兼職女演員、自由派人士和吧檯工作人員檢視，均認為妥適。他們也許會抱怨，這些規章使個體趨向一致，且壓抑他們的本性。但是，一百個不同的演員扮演哈姆雷特，每個人在同樣的段落、同樣的台詞時，可以有異樣的表現嗎？

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
不能冷落任何一個進門的客人。

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
不要讓單身客人不爽。別問「你在等人嗎？」只問是否訂位。或問他（她）是否願意在吧檯等候。

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
別等客人到齊後才帶位。

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
如果需要一些時間整理餐桌，給客人一杯免費飲料、開胃小點。他們也許又累、又飢渴。

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
客人就座前，不等客人要求，餐桌必須整理好。

6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
別問「整瓶或杯水。」兩者均可，自然就好。

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
不須自報姓名。不開玩笑，不賣弄風情，不裝可愛。

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
沒有任何理由去打斷客人交談。更別只為了背誦本日特餐，等待適當時機。

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
介紹本日特餐時不能太快、太機械化或太戲劇化。這不是獨角戲，也不是試音。

10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
在介紹特餐時勿滲入個人喜好。

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
別促銷昂貴食材。即或只有兩隻龍蝦，也不能說「我們只剩下兩隻龍蝦」。

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
別碰觸水杯或任何杯子的杯口。

13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
要拿酒杯的杯頸，銀餐具要拿握柄。

14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
當你問道：「您還滿意嗎？」要傾聽回答並且立即改善。

15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
不能僅以「我不知道」來回覆問題，要接著說「我去了解。」

16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
要以小碟盛裝客人索取的醬料、肉汁式乳酪。不可以用倒的或任由自取。

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
等，等，等。不能先收走某位客人的空餐盤，要等到同桌客人都用完這道菜之後。

18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
上菜前搞清楚每位客人點單。不能問：「蝦是那位點的？」

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
麵包要和奶油或橄欖油一起上。

20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
永不拒絕客人要求更換蔬菜。

21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
絕不上賣相不好的菜或是錯單。

22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
如果客人對選酒舉棋不定，幫助他。就是請侍酒師過來或讓客人試喝一點。

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
如果客人喜歡一隻酒，揭下酒標連同帳單送給他。酒標上有年份、酒廠和進口商…等資訊。

24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
開不同的酒要更換酒杯。

25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
確認酒杯夠清潔，放上餐桌前要再檢查。

26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
別以為每個人都要把白酒放在冰桶裏。等待指示。

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
上紅酒時，問客人喜歡自己斟或侍者為他服務。

28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
拔出瓶塞時，勿握住瓶口。

29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
別讓香檳瓶塞蹦出。要安靜、優雅的移除。越靜越好。

30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
斟酒時瓶口不得接觸杯緣。沒人喜歡杯裡有酒瓶上的灰塵、髒污。

31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
整盤菜客人沒動，必定事出有因。問清楚那裡不對。

32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
絕對不能接觸客人身體。沒有藉口，就是不行。不要擦拭他們，挪動他們或撢灰。

33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
經過桌椅時不能撞擊出聲。

34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
別在客人聽聞所及之處和另一個侍者談論私事。

35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
不得在客人面前吃喝。

36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
別發出香水或菸味。人們期盼的是食物和飲料的香味。

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
即使客人邀請也不能在工作時喝酒。說：「不，我正在上班」就足夠了。

38. Do not call a guy a “dude.”
不能稱呼男性客人「城市鄉巴佬」。

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
不能稱呼女性客人「夫人」。

40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
別說：「點得好，」會暗示其他點得不好。

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do. 
當說「沒有問題」就是問題，它有虛偽和諷刺的意味。要說「我的榮幸」或「非常樂意」，趕快去做。

42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
別恭維某位客人的穿著、髮型或裝扮。會損及他人。

43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
別提你喜歡的甜點。那與服務無關。

44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
別談論你的飲食偏好，素食、不耐乳糖或糖尿病。

45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
無論如何不能詛咒客人。

46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
對所有客人一視同仁。

47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
別在他人聽聞所及之處和同事或客人竊竊私語。

48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
別在客人吃喝時確認加點些什麼，應參閱點菜單。

49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
除非客人問，不得提小費。

50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.
別在付帳時分獻殷勤，應一以貫之。

原文參照：http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restaurant-staffers-should-never-do-part-one/