WIFE
FROM HELL 



A police officer pulls over a
speeding car. The officer says,'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating .'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have
cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you
please keep your mouth shut for once !! ? '

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off
when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut? '

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice
that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine. '

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I
had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my
license out of my back pocket. '

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well
that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when
you're driving. '

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket , the driver
turns to his wife and barks, 'W ILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?? ' 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am? '

'Only when he's been drinking!! '