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「文字趣談」的開場白
2013/12/21 12:17:27瀏覽1569|回應25|推薦43

「文字趣談」的開場白

明天(12/21)要在華府書友會年終同樂會講「文字趣談」,約2030分鐘,(材料充份、伸縮自如),我的開場白如下:

如果您會說二種語言,您就是bi-lingual

如果您會說三種語言,您就是tri-lingual

如果您只會說一種語言,您就是•••

American(美國人•••呵呵,我在嘲諷美國人的外語能力哩

中文字、英文字分屬不同語言系統,以量來•••

 

中文字

9,156字,許慎的《說文解字

47,035字,《康熙大字典》

49,808字,台灣編的[中文大辭典](謝謝笑笑補充)

85,568字,中華人民共和國最新出版的《中華字海》

6,196字,常用字

英文字

470,000 words, Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged (1993)

1,022,000 words a joint Harvard and Google studyDec 2010

70,000 words,英文常用字

英文字的字數十倍於中文字的字數呢(真不知這是不是美國人外語能力薄弱的原因呀?),這說明了什麼呢?可能至少說明了三件事

1• 相對於中文,英文字、英文語法沒有效率、效能;

2• 相對於中文,英文字、英文語法易學難精;

3• 相對於中文,英文字肯定同義字、類似字太多。 

同義字、類似字太多,導致用字遣詞不易,以下有三例:


Differences of the words

 

Complete vs Finish

What is the difference between Complete and Finish? …

 

When a man marries the right woman, he is COMPLETE.

And when a man married the wrong one, he is FINISHED.

And when the right one catches the man with the wrong one, he is COMPLETELY FINISHED!委屈

Confident vs Confidential

 5th grader Tammy has homework to compare the difference between Confident and Confidential.  He does not know so he asked his dad.

Son: "Dad what's the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad: "Hmmmm… You are my son, I am confident of that. Your friend Timmy in the neighborhood,” Dad lower the voice, “is actually your brother… that's confidential!"守口如瓶

 

Definition of Tragedy

President Bush would like to see how successfully his “No Child Left Behind Act” (有教無類法案) had been implemented! One day President Bush visited an elementary school in the Northern Virginia. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word 'tragedy.'

 

"Well," one girl replied, "my dad’s car ran over my puppy dog last week and it died.  That was a tragedy!"

The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That was an accident, not a tragedy! Can anyone give it a try?"

A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!"

The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?"

A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!"

"Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?"

"Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"ROES冏

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引用網址:https://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=chin8673&aid=10054192

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多硯坊 (休)
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2013/12/21 17:52
最後一則用了刪去法
一語三關
太妙了
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:58 回覆:

哈哈!

敬祝多同學闔家聖誕快樂、新春大吉、萬事如意!


pearlz (民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO )
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confidant
2013/12/21 16:42

我喜歡這一篇所選的英文笑話,比以前的笑話好。

我跟我女兒說,有 confidential 的事情我只跟她說,因為她是我的 confidant。我以為她會很榮幸,誰知道她回答我,叫我另外找別的 confidant。我說不行,只有她有資格,她不想當也得當。大笑


金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:37 回覆:
Confident vs Confidential(媽媽版)



5th grader Tiff has homework to compare the difference between Confident and Confidential.  She does not know so she  asked her mom.

Daughter: "Mom, what's the difference between confident and confidential?"

Dad: "Hmmmm… Your dad is your real dad, I am confident of that. Your dad is actually not your  young sister's real dad… that's confidential!"


敬祝您闔家聖誕快樂、新春大吉、萬事如意!笑

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:37
 我看大家看我寫的, 大概會十分不滿意格主沒給大家翻譯...依你的中英能力, 這樣偷懶是萬分不應該....
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:22 回覆:
這三則笑話旨在取笑英文,宜以英文説之,效果更棒!

取笑中文的,我都以中文説之啦!
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:25 回覆:
瑩公主辛苦了•••快回貴格補充水分

敬祝妳聖誕快樂、新春大吉、萬事如意!

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:33
倒數第一, 二笑話都很好笑...尤其最後一個超幽默的...
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:08 回覆:
微笑
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:18 回覆:
三則都在水準之上。

今天第一則笑話引起的笑聲最大!

第二則、第三則笑話引起的笑聲相同!

讀笑話與聽笑話(表演)是不同的,聽笑話表演,考驗說者的技巧、時間掌控、停頓•••等。最後一則是超級幽默!

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:32

還好我這個土包子會利用網路工具, G大哥幫幫忙, 所以大概就懂啦~

金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:06 回覆:
妳不是英文挺有功力嚒?還需要這G大哥幫幫忙?懷疑

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:30
一半中文一半英文..大家大概霧煞煞....你是在蒸土包子嗎?
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 12:01 回覆:
半是中文半英文

中英互換霧煞煞

以英文蒸土包子

以中文唬洋麵包

呵呵

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:29
 但洋吐絲是沒問題, 對土包子就恐怕問題多多....你的開場白掛在網路, 洋土皆可看...
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 11:56 回覆:
本會會員中英皆通,掛在網路, 洋土皆可看、皆可學•••

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:28
還好來賓大概大部分是BIO-語言者, 了解你開場白的笑話也不難就是.
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 11:52 回覆:
bi-lingual...不是bio 啦

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:27
 當然啦...我不能說你不嚴謹, 其中你也提到中英文優劣比較, 看來你對中英文的了解非常深刻.
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 11:48 回覆:
「文字趣談」•••趣談文字,趣談中文與英文•••

例如

腦袋•••腦內有袋子嚒?

腦袋瓜•••腦內有瓜嚒?

腦海•••腦內有海嚒?

...

瑩雪
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2013/12/21 16:26
欣賞了一下你的開場白, 是一篇中英不對照的笑話集.
金大俠(chin8673) 於 2013-12-22 11:40 回覆:
中英不對照

中英合擊

左右開弓

又中又英

趣談中英文字

中英隨時切換

以防腦袋痴呆

呵呵
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