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邀 舞
2009/09/02 00:22:21瀏覽2260|回應26|推薦300

 續自 -- 事情 就是這麼開始的

寶貝, 我真的不是個會跳舞的人.

我玩音響, 我喜歡古典音樂, 可是對流行音樂真的懂得不多, 跳舞也勉强只能來點簡單的三步,四步 . 其實那天我是被S抓公差, 陪他們到你們學校去找人邀舞伴的.他們都是S的医科同班同學, 只有我一個人是牙科. 站在後面看戱. 暮色中, 我看不清楚誰是誰.

可是, 寶貝, 那天晚上當你們一群人走進舞會場地時, 我一眼就捕捉到你, 你的皮膚很白, 挺直的鼻子稱托出你高雅立體的臉型和五官. 讓我的眼光不由自主地跟随着你. 看着你在人群中随着音樂翩然起舞, 快樂得有如一隻彩蝶, 我却苦無機會接近.

终於有了慢舞的機會, 我急步向你走去, 擋住了别的男生,緊張地向你邀舞. 你的眼底閃過一絲驚奇顽皮的笑意, 却任我牵着你的小手走向舞池, 我的心快樂得想唱歌, 又深怕我笨拙的舞步踩到你. 我輕輕擁着你, 讓温柔的音樂帶着我們旋轉, 你好奇的眼睛搜尋着我的, 羞却地一笑, 又越過我的肩膀投向满室的婆娑舞影.

兩首慢舞很快的就结束了, 我緊拉着你的手穿過擁擠的人群, 走向最後面的椅子, 在昏暗的燈光下, 我開始一整夜耍寶和講故事的能耐, 我不能再讓别的男生有機會向你邀舞.


親愛的, 我真的很喜歡跳舞, 到现在還是一様.

我喜歡身體随着音樂擺動的那種感覺, 强烈明快的節奏更是我所愛. 我不是很喜歡跳慢舞的, 除非是和自己喜歡的人. 可是親愛的,你那天却那麼霸道的往我眼前一站, 我連编個藉口溜走的機會都没有.

你一整晚不譲我走, 不停地説笑話, 講故事给我聼. 一開始我還频频回首舞池, 希望能再回去多跳一下. 可是慢慢的, 你多樣而有趣的話題深深吸引了我, 你對音響及古典音樂的多聞讓我讚嘆. 你在棒球隊當一壘手的防守趣事讓我開懷大笑; 你温柔的大眼睛讓我覺得安全, 還有你的嘴唇....

沉浸在你風趣而知性的談話里, 喧嚣的人群和音樂逐漸隐去成了背景, 這世界上彷彿只剩下你和我......

當主辦人宣佈最後一支舞時, 你輕輕地擁着我滑進舞池, 深深地看着我的眼睛説:

"我可以去學校宿舍找你嗎?"

看着你的眼睛, 我輕輕的點頭, 音樂帶着我們慢慢的旋轉着.....




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引用網址:https://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=PinkCottonCandy&aid=3279327

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ben 邯鄲學步中
等級:7
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will be a silent reader
2010/03/08 00:48

i felt inappropriate after i sent off my review, which also revealed my biased focus in character development.

you did quite good so far.  from the responses, there are many readers like this story, not just me.

i would be a silent reader for this story's forthcoming installments.
please take your time to write.

PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2010-03-10 23:17 回覆:
It's OK. Please don't worry about it.

And I am glad you like it too.

Hi ~  Don't be a silent reader!

Any comment is welcomed here,

as long as you don't bad-mouth my writing.


 

ben 邯鄲學步中
等級:7
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book review
2010/03/06 12:12
compared to the 1st installment's description of the frolic campus life,
the 2nd installment is tighter in construct and is more articulate in documenting the evolutions of their mental states.

from his perspective:
he was sort of apathetic with this whole business of dancing.
but he lost his equanimity once he spotted "belle of the ball", i.e. the leading beauty in the dance hall.
not to be restrained by his own limitation, he bodaciously took initiative inviting her for a dance.
after sizing him up, instead of looking inward or downward, she looked past his shoulder.
he promptly sensed her indifference. the insecurity called for his assertive action after the music ended,

from her perspective:
she evolved
from
perfunctory politeness in accepting his invitation
through
acquiesce when pulled out from the dance floor,
to
engagingly listening to his cultural displays.

the author's writing makes both angles vivid and plausible.
maybe the author has had first hand experience.

The setting of this 2nd installment is interesting:
#1. both protagonists write down, not talk about, their reminisces, separately.
#2. the mood implies a happy ending and
#3. they are united with domestic felicity.

it would be interesting to see how the author unfolds this story between their 1st encounter and #3.
maybe #3 is in the mid-point of the story, not the end-point yet.

for readers, it is safe to know, at this juncture, this not a story of unrequited love.
love story always sells :).

looking forward to more installments of this story.


thanks
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2010-03-07 23:32 回覆:
Beni,

You have very sharp observation on my writing.

That's scary and

I'd better be very careful. 

Yes, there's a #3; but I don't know when I can finish it.

Or want to post it at all.

I'll try, but no guarantee though.

  

山下阿哥
等級:7
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愛看小說
2009/12/24 08:59
好多人爭當男主角,我推薦灰狼大哥。
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-12-24 23:07 回覆:
山下阿哥,

那你可要說說灰狼有什麼好啊~

我倒覺得你的故鄉很棒呢!

聖誕快樂哦~~


吹牛皮 大俠
等級:8
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hmmm....
2009/12/22 00:13

that's me...that's me...


謝謝你的來訪, 我為你又寫了下列文章, 請您來賜教批評:
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-12-22 21:46 回覆:
Really?!

Let me see how you look~~~~



d.d.
等級:8
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美麗的初戀故事
2009/09/14 23:38
最近瞎忙了一陣差點錯過了妳寫的這個美麗的初戀故事耶,sorry dear Candy! And my abo had not annonced your new articles, strange! Or I just have missed them out. Hope you are fine, my dear friend! Beautiful story...I got it! Wish you all the best and love...
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-15 11:28 回覆:
Ah~~~ Dear Daidi!

最近讀了你的古月言兑系列, 真是精彩非凡!

再加上你被譜曲的新作

好羡慕喔!!

Thank you for your good wishes, my dear friend!!



taipei
等級:8
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很美的故事題材
2009/09/12 00:58
很美的故事題材, 開頭的圖片很能代表故事的意境,希望很快能看到續集。。。
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-13 13:55 回覆:
謝謝讚美!

續集    努力中~~~



Willtrue
等級:8
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^^
2009/09/11 20:36
是嗎? 偶的詩有那麼厲害呀
可以用來交女朋友呀!
我怎不知道呀
還是只有妳個人認為呀
我可從沒聽到其他人這樣說唷

那這樣好啦 偶寫詩給妳~ 看妳像不像上次妳被雷電打到的感覺

PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-13 14:11 回覆:
是啊!

你的詩冩得很棒啊!!

凝静  淡遠

若再加入一些徐志摩的熱情  不羁

追女朋友  手到擒來也~~~

寫詩給我?

可以啊, 我就權充你練習的对向好了


Willtrue
等級:8
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青春飛揚
2009/09/09 08:58

Dear Candy, Morning(Taipei time)

妳描述的比我大學時參加的舞會還要美呀

也讓我掉入過往第一次參加系上迎新舞會的場景..

我好像也看到如妳描述那位令我印象深刻的女孩

是不是妳呀(..........)

不過, 我沒妳文中那位男士般的勇氣, 一直纏著她跟她講...等等

當年 我還訴小生怕怕的呀

PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-09 15:02 回覆:
Good afternoon, my dear friend!

我在大学時是很愛跳舞的

不過很picky 就是了

你好傻呀~

碰到那樣的女孩子

你要冩诗嘛!

你的詩是你的利器呀!!




奈米
等級:8
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好美的故事
2009/09/07 09:28
不禁想起大學時的舞會情景
不過還是妳的比較吸引人
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-08 10:10 回覆:
我相信

每個人的生命都有其璨爛的时刻

各自芬芳   各自美麗

把你的也冩出來跟大家共享吧





笨腳獸 (洗腥割面 重出江湖)
等級:8
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待續??????
2009/09/06 01:21
Wow! The story is getting more and more interesting and exciting day by day.

哈囉!
請您
別那麼
婆婆媽媽
姑姑奶奶
滴滴咕咕了

快快快
急死狼了!

聽到激動 香豔之處
萬一有人不支倒地
本狼 義不容辭
定以第一時間急救

開播啦! 有料盡管爆!
本狼 小板凳已擺好
也已排排坐
就等著聽
Candy 大小姐的
Earth-shaking love story

To be serious: Please take all the time you need and have a great weekend.
PinkCottonCandy(PinkCottonCandy) 於 2009-09-08 09:01 回覆:
Ha

Love stories are always 拖拖拉拉, 细水长流
, 不是嗎?

They are not instant noodles 啦~~

乖乖坐好, 糖糖説故事给你聼喔~~
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