My friend, Alex, a book editor, checked his inbox, anticipating an angry email from an author. He’d been working with a prominent business leader on the client’s manuscript for months. Unexpectedly, the publisher had decided to halt the publication of the book due to company problems. After emailing the author the bad news, Alex braced himself.

A week later a reply came. “I didn’t answer right away because I wanted to think first about my words and how to respond,” the author wrote. He expressed disappointment, then calmly stated how he thought the publisher could’ve handled the issue.

The author’s wise, measured response left a deep impression on me. His behavior reflected what the Bible says our communication should be like, especially when we’re angry. The apostle James tells us to keep “a tight rein on [our] tongues” because it’s easy to sin with our words (James 1:26; see 3:5-6). We’re to prioritize listening to others so we can understand them, choose our words, and consider whether it’s necessary to get angry (1:19).

Not only does restraint in speech help us to avoid sin and allow the Scriptures to change us (v. 21), but it also reflects who God is to others: “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8). Let’s model our loving God with our words—and our silences.