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| 2010/01/12 23:07:25瀏覽559｜回應0｜推薦4 | |
the Atlantic Poetry January/February 2010 by C. K. Williams 腦 我曾穿越我腦部的迷宮：迴廊，角落，陌生、 窄隘的洞穴，死巷。 忽然，我存在我的腦內，我是我的腦 這樣的感受變得難以忍受 我很洩氣，開始納悶：許久以前我早獲致的結論 也就是肉體心智以外 沒有理由還要設想真有所謂靈魂一物，全然正確 何以不像眾多我敬愛的人所相信的一樣，竟無 一物 既非思想也非物質，且漂浮兩者之上，升自兩者，就像晨霧 升自湖面？ 這裡只此洞穴紀錄我的生命歲月，然後幾乎全數將之 散列錯置 假定真有靈魂，其任務或許如下：挽回我所失去的一切 讓人信服 那將是所謂的慰藉嗎？如果真有靈魂，及其慰藉 我也會感知其他靈魂的霧與湖嗎？我會更愛他們 超過現在嗎？ 而我所描繪的湖，清晨，與無舵的三桅帆船：我也會 更愛它們嗎？ 而其後林木雜生的山巒呢？而滲透，再滲透而下的 黑暗之紗呢？ Brain I was traversing the maze of my brain: corridors, corners, strange, narrow caverns, dead ends. Then all at once my being like this in my brain, this sense of being my brain became unbearable to me. I began to wonder in dismay if the conclusion I’d long ago come to that there can be nothing that might reasonably be postulated as the soul apart from body and mind was entirely valid Why, as many I cherish—Herbert, Hopkins, Weil—have believed, shouldn’t there be a substance neither thought nor matter that floats above both, lifts from both as mist at dawn lifts from a lake? Here was only this cavern registering the hours of my life, and dissipating, misplacing all but so few. If I could posit a soul, might this be its task: to salvage in a convincing way all that I’d lost? Would that be what’s meant by consolation? And if there were a soul, and its consolations, would I perceive the mist and lake of other souls, too? Would I love them more than I already do? And the lake, and the dawn, and the rudderless barque I picture there: would I love all that more, too? And the mountain behind, scribbled with trees? And the lace of the dark seeping down, seeping down? |
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