Iceland is a North Atlantic island country. Originally settled by Vikings, this nation was far enough away from Europe and North America to develop without too much interference. While Australia’s isolation was instrumental to the development of its unique fauna and flora, Iceland’s remoteness helped it develop a quirky culture. This quirky culture is firmly grounded in secularism. Since Donald Trump took office, Iceland responded by protecting its godless culture.

Here are some of the restrictions the government placed on religious extremism.

Christians Are Prohibited From Several Tourist Sites

For quite some time some Christian tourists behaved poorly. They did not adhere to the secular nature of the island’s society. A government report illustrated typical problems:

One tour group of American evangelicals littered a pagan shrine with Chick tracts — short evangelical morality stories told in a comic book format. A family of Southern Baptists smuggled in a Christian televangelist into the country. The family and the minister were deported immediately in accordance with the Icelandic Psychological Defense Act. One Calvinist created a stir at a Starbucks because the barista got the name wrong for his coffee order — Jesus Billionaire Kanye West .

In 2019 the country passed The Iceland Heritage Defense Act (IDHA).

The IDHA strictly prohibits Christians from entering the following locations:

• Starbucks
• Pagan sites
• Libraries
• Women health centers
• Richard Dawkins Monument To Reason
• Hot water springs

While controversial, the IDHA did what it was designed to do. Locals are far less irritated with visitors.

Southern Baptist Churches Are Considered Terrorist Organizations

In 2019 Iceland placed The Southern Baptist Convention on its list of terrorist organizations. There was strong support for the move.

A local representative explained the reason why Southern Baptists are, in fact, terrorists:

“What is terrorism? Using fear to achieve political goals,” he explained. “The Southern Baptist Convention uses the fear of eternal torment to help it achieve anti-LGBTQ legislation, a pro-gun culture, gutting pro-environment regulations, attempting to stop the legalization of marijuana, and inhumane treatment of undocumented workers in the United States. They are the very definition of terrorists.”

There Are Warning Labels On Bibles

In 2017, Iceland’s parliament chose to warn its citizens of the inherent dangers of taking the “Good Book” seriously.

These warnings include but are not limited to:

• Taking the Bible literally can lead to irrational decision making.
• Reading the Bible to young children is shown to cause nightmares and bedwetting.
• The Bible contains God approved genocide, misogyny, and a serious lack of humor.
• Reading the Bible has been shown to cause an outbreak of Donald Trump.
• Reading the Book of Revelation is positively correlated with speaking in tongues and other psychotic events.
• This new statute also demands that every Bible sold must be wrapped in plastic. The intent is to keep small children from picking up the book and reading verses like Psalm 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.

American Televangelists Aren’t Allowed

At the time, Prime Minister Canard voiced what many of his constituents felt:

We in Iceland value our relationship with the United States of America. It is a great nation with a history they should be proud of. Currently, however, they seem to off whatever medication their doctor prescribed for them. Iceland wishes to support our friend in need. In that spirit, we are sending teachers over there to educate and assist rural communities infected with ignorance and superstition. What we will not do is allow ourselves to be invaded by that ignorance and superstition which is propagated by televangelists.

All Religions Are Considered Mental Disorders

In trying to undo centuries of damage done to humanity by religion, the government officially declared in 2020 all faiths to be psychologically maladaptive.

Iceland’s Prime Minister  gave a full-throated defense of why religion is a psychological disorder:

A cursory look at any of the common definitions of mental illness reveals that religion is, in fact, the most common malady of them all. Look at any recent convert. It’s plain to friends and family the poor soul in question is suffering from emotional disturbances and impaired functioning.

Have you been to the Creation Museum in the United States? If that place isn’t a hotbed for disordered thinking common to those inflicted with schizophrenia, I don’t know what is.