Thoughts on marriage

Take the most serious thing of the world very lightly.

Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence!

Little boy: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Dad: "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"

"Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person; it is a matter of being the right person."

"All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart."

Sign in a marriage counselor’s window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."

"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books."

"My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me.

Gosh, I'm going to miss her."

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk when she sleeps.

"I was the best man at the wedding. If I am the best man, why is she marrying him?"

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.

He: "I specially enjoy vacuuming, because it keeps me from hearing about all the other chores my wife

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

Married life is frustrating.

The first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." asked the friend. The woman replied, “A billionaire".