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Love Your Child in a Language They Understand

FROM WWW.SAVVYDADDY.COM

Have you ever tried to show your child that you love them but they pull away out of embarrassment? If so, you've just experienced a common reaction that some children have when it comes to showing them affection. If you're not a savvy dad, this could have the potential to hurt your feelings, but it's really just kids being kids and it's nothing personal against you. Fortunately, there are other ways you can show affection toward your child in ways that they understand.

Consider the Five Love Languages http://marriage.about.com/cs/communicationkeys/a/lovelanguage.htm as an ideal way to accomplish this instead of giving your child a big sloppy kiss when their friends are around. Here is a brief explanation of the Five Love Languages so you can implement them in your relationship as a non-embarrassing method for being affectionate with your kids.

1.         Words of Affirmation - Communication is one of the most important aspects of any successful relationship. And a relationship between a father and child is no different. This is probably the easiest love language there is to learn, too. All it takes is occasional words of encouragement to make your child feel loved. Practice phrases like, "Great job!" and "Way to go!" when they do something good. But also learn to compliment them even when they are just sitting and watching TV or reading. If this is your child's primary love language, they'll appreciate the words of affirmation as long as you're sincere and honest with them.

2.         Quality Time - This is often the most difficult love language for dads to learn, especially in today's hectic world where work can be so demanding on our time and energy. But quality time is a great way to show your children that you love them. You can accomplish this without making a big production of going on a picnic or something that takes the entire day. Make sure your family sits down to dinner each night (or at least most nights) and have conversations during that time. Turn off the TV and just enjoy each other's company until everybody is done eating. Make some free time each night to spend with your child, too. Even if it's just to read them a bedtime story and tuck them in, they'll feel loved.

3.         Receiving Gifts - What child doesn't enjoy getting gifts? What parents don't enjoy watching their child's face light up when they open those special gifts during the holidays or on their birthday? But as a love language, receiving gifts is a more common occurrence than once or twice a year. Bring something home each day after work or buy them something when you go to the store. It doesn't have to be an expensive gift, either, because young children don't understand the concept of price. That's the beauty of children - they'll appreciate something from the Dollar Store as much as something that costs $100.

4.         Acts of Service - With children, this might be one of the least noticed love languages. Dads are always doing things for their children, whether it's fixing their bike, scaring away the monsters in the bedroom at night or driving them to school each day. But if you don't do these things, your child will undoubtedly notice. They might even feel like you don't love them as much if you don't blow on their boo-boo or show them how to inflate that flat tire on their bicycle. They might not know how to thank you now, but they'll remember everything you did for them when they get older. And when they're making the decision about which retirement home is best for you, you'll want to accumulate as many acts of service in their memory as you can.

5.         Physical Touch - Snuggling and holding your child is a great way to show them you love them. However, this can be very embarrassing for them when you do it around their friends. But isn't embarrassing our kids part of the fun of being a parent? Dads typically have a difficult time with this love language, but the more pats on the back and hugs that you give them, the more loved they'll feel. Be sure not to skimp on this love language. It's usually the most effective.

"The Five Love Languages" is a book written by Gary Chapman. It was written with the idea of married couples in mind, but these same principles can be transferred to the relationship with your child to make them feel like you truly love them. In today's world where peer pressure reigns supreme and children are searching for meaning, a dad's undeniable love can be the one thing that keeps them on the road to developing a fulfilled and happy life.