Hard to Believe

2008/8/6

By cAmilla Wu

Home base: Taipei, Taiwan

Flight: Taipei to Seattle

Flying time: 12 hours and 40 minutes

Aircraft type: Airbus 343

After more than half an hour's waiting in a line, it was finally her turn.

She approached to this Homeland Security Officer with elation thinking about the 10-day vacation here in Seattle after the whole year’s labors. She could have gone to Paris or London if it hadn’t been for a hearty invitation from a friend who had been in Taiwan for few days, had driven for three hours from Seattle to Vancouver constantly to spend the weekends with her and had become a conversable pal of hers.

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: Hi, good evening! (She always greets people before they utter the very first word right after the eye contact. She has been raised to show her courtesy and modesty at all times. Although she doesn’t really feel like following this golden rule all the time, she does anyway.)

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: (Taking a look at her, getting the passport from her hand, flipping through the pages, he seems to remember to say something at last.) Hi.

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: … (Thinking about the days she is going to be able to mellow out, wondering what questions he might ask, she is in high glee upon her arrival. )

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Why are you here? (He throws out the first question without showing any facial expression.)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: I’m visiting a friend here and I’m on my vacation as well. (It doesn’t take long before she offers her answer.) 

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Where are you going to stay?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: I’m staying at my friend’s place.

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Is your friend male or female?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: He is a male friend. (She tries to read his mind.)

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Is he a Chinese American?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: No…

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Well, it is hard to believe!

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: Uhm… Why is it hard to believe? (She has a feeling that this discourse is going to take forever.)

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Are you dating? (He makes her feel like that she is talking to her parent.)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: ...(Considering a relationship is a more serious issue, wondering if that is a proper question to ask by him, she tries to decode his intention. ) Uhm… I don’t quite follow.

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Is he your boyfriend?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: We are friends.

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Do you kiss him?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: ...

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: (Staring at the monitor, flipping through the pages as if the passport could give him more satisfying information, he is waiting for an answer.)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: (Wondering how this question would ever relate to her visit in Seattle, pondering over the definition of kissing, imagining a staff of the World Organization for Human Rights standing here watching this episode, she regards this question as an offensive one.) … Excuse me, Sir. Why do you ask this question?

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: I need to find out the reason why you are here.

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: I’m on vacation!

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: Well, it is hard to believe.

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: ... (She does her best to be cooperative, but she seems to be a little bit lost at this moment. She loses her interest in being a mind reader now.)

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: If he asks you to marry him, will you say yes?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: ... (Showing the unbelievable look upon this query, she has no mood to answer any further questions. ) No…!

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: How long have you known each other? (Doing his best to dig out the secret, he acts as if he smells a rat in the matter.)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: A year or so. (Knowing that he doesn’t really listen or believe the information she offers, she decides to make up an answer.)

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: What do you do in Taiwan? (He talks as if he is working for CIA as well.)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: I’m a crew. (Keeping the answer as short and simple as possible, she doesn’t feel like talking more about her private life to this "Mr. CIA.")

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: (Finding a certain page, he stops to read carefully.) Do you work for the Airlines?

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: Yes.

A U.S. Customs & Border Protection Officer: (Staring once again on the computer, giving a stamp on her passport, he finally says the three words that she is supposed to hear in the beginning of this whole conversation.) Welcome to Seattle. (No astonish mark..)

A Taiwanese Female Traveller: (Considering the first of the three words not persuasive, she shouts out silently, ‘Yeah, right!’) … Thank you. (Period. Politeness is in her blood.)