This is from Eddie Liang, a good friend who is a high-raking FBI agent stationed in Washington DC.   

The Guys' Rules
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has the 狗膽 to write these all down

We always hear "The Rules" from the female side. 

FINALLY, there is guys' side of the story.  These are our rules!  Please note that these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.  And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably ARE.  Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during TV commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.  But did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping.