Part 2: 人工授精 

小白在農閒之餘，也以養豬做為副業; 這個做法很明顯的是copy虎爛..荷蘭那個擠奶女孩的創意.. 不過此時IP的觀念尚未建立起，也就無人追究.. (OS. 女孩擠完奶，拿到市場換蛋蛋.; 蛋蛋變雞雞，雞雞生蛋蛋變雞…嗯¸ 由此可証: 先有蛋、後有雞…)

於是小白：買了頭母豬回來，天天盼著它趕快生小豬.. 光陰似箭，日月如梭; 一轉眼三年過去了，別說是小豬，連半隻蟑螂也沒給生出來.. 小白正當發愁之際，遇上縣城裡的白骨珍，小珍的爹是位名醫; 小珍她爹確實是個高人，他知道給 (他一條魚，不如給他一條釣竿) 的道理.. 與其給他一頭豬哥，不如教他自己做豬哥.. 的替代方案..人工授精啦..

小白雖然對這個提議不太滿意，但也只好接受.. 當兵三年，老母豬賽貂蟬.. 就算是在當兵吧.. 但這畢竟是違反自然的做法，於是他只能在某個月黑風高的晚上，偷偷的給它做了; 但母豬很不上道，到處亂吼亂叫 (OS. 此情此景似曾見 莫非立院又開會) .. 所幸天下無難事、只怕有心人，小白終於還是把它搞定了… 時光荏苒又數日，不見母豬生小豬.. 這可急壞了小白，小白只好向小珍求助; 小珍那時正在網上炒股票，眼看淨值天天跌，但她可是老神在在，說不退就不退，愈跌愈要進.. 小珍的執著大大的激勵了小白，於是小白決定繼續給他的賽貂蟬做人工授精.. 一週兩週過去了，到了第三週，老母豬終於有了反應.. 它開始主動出擊… 這天，天還沒黑，它就主動來跑來找小白…

A farmer decides that his 3 sows should be bred, and contacts his buddy down the road, who owns 3 male pigs. They agree on a stud fee, and the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and brings them down the road to the males. He leaves them all day, and when he picks them up that night, asks the man how he can tell if it 'took' or not. The breeder replies that if, the next morning, the sows were grazing on grass, they were pregnant, but if they were rolling in the mud as usual, they probably weren't ...

Comes the morn, the sows are rolling in the mud as usual, so the farmer puts them in the truck and brings them back for a second full day of frolic. This continues for a week, since each morning the sows are rolling in the mud.

About the sixth day, the farmer wakes up and tells his wife, "I don't have the heart to look again. This is getting ridiculous, AND expensive. You check today." With that, the wife peeks out the bedroom window and starts to laugh.

"What is it?" asks the farmer excitedly. "Are they grazing at last?"

"Nope." says the wife. "Two of them are jumping up and down in the back of your truck, and the other one is honking the horn!"