Chapter Seven: The Author of Tsangyang's Love Poems on the Wall

36

Late the following morning, Zhangyang brought the group to an area near Jokhang Temple. They entered a Tibetan-owned restaurant to have a meal.

After ordering their food, Annie went to the restroom. On her way back, she passed a wall covered with messages left by visitors. Among them was a love poem by Tsangyang Gyatso, written in Tibetan. The signature caught Annie's attention.

To Annie:

Whether you see me or do not see me,
I am right there, neither sad nor joyful.

Whether you think of me or do not think of me,
Love is right there, neither coming nor going.

Whether you love me or do not love me,
Love is right there, neither increasing nor diminishing.

Whether you follow me or do not follow me,
My hand is already in yours.

Annie (V.O.): Isn't this the same love song I heard last night?

Annie noticed the inscription on the line below the poem: "Copied by Dage Gesang." She remembered the handsome young Tibetan man she had met the previous day at the painting stall and his facial resemblance to Songtsen Gampo. She couldn't help feeling eager to see him again.

When Annie returned to her seat, she drank her coffee with a distracted expression. She did not hear her father, Zashi, speaking to her. It was only when Meido tugged at her sleeve that she came back to her senses.

Zashi asked, "Annie, did you hear the love song written by our ancestor last night?"

Annie nodded.

Zashi said with satisfaction, "Tsangyang Gyatso's love poems have remained deeply rooted in people's hearts for three centuries."

37

Zashi and the others entered Jokhang Temple for a visit.

"I'm going to the restroom."

Annie walked outside through a side entrance and called Gesang on her cell phone.

"May I speak to Dage Gesang?"

"Speaking. Is that Annie?"

"Yes. I'm outside the side entrance of the main hall at Jokhang Temple."

"All right. I'll come get you right away."

Only a few minutes passed before Gesang appeared and waved to Annie. He quickly walked over to her.

"Let's go to my research office first. I'll show you some Buddhist mural images I've collected."

Annie followed Gesang along a stone-paved path. They turned two corners and arrived at a row of side buildings. The two entered one of the rooms.

Gesang led Annie to a long table and pointed to several stacks of Buddhist mural images.

"These are copies I've made of mural paintings. I've classified and numbered them, and I'm studying them in batches."

Annie's attention was drawn to two paintings on the wall. They were the portraits of Songtsen Gampo and Princess Wencheng that Gesang had given her.

Annie pointed at them.

"These two paintings on the wall are the ones you gave me last time. I'd like to see the original paintings."

Gesang said, "Both of these are copies I've made from the murals. The original murals are mounted on the walls inside the main hall of the neighboring Ramoche Monastery."

"Then would you take me to see those two murals?"

"Of course. Come with me."

The two left the research office and went to the main hall of Ramoche Monastery.

Gesang pointed to two murals on the wall to the left.

"They're right there."

Following his directions, Annie walked over to the left wall and gazed intently at the two murals.

"Look. Princess Wencheng's facial features and bearing are exactly like yours."

Annie turned her head and gave Gesang a radiant smile.

Annie thought to herself, "Could this be a coincidence, or is it a sign pointing to some deeper meaning?"

Nearby, an elderly lama named Gongga Sonam Rinpoche was chanting scriptures. He stared at Annie without taking his eyes off her, then suddenly stopped chanting. He stepped forward and repeatedly greeted Annie with his palms pressed together in reverence.

Annie was puzzled by his behavior. The elderly lama then spoke at length to the two of them in Tibetan.

"You are the reincarnation of Songtsen Gampo, and the woman beside you is the reincarnation of Princess Wencheng. Your return here must mean that the Buddha has entrusted you with a mission. You must treat this woman well. She will be your wife in this lifetime. She has come from thousands of miles away to find you."

After hearing the elderly lama's prophecy, Annie looked astonished. She found his prediction almost unbelievable.

Gesang thought to himself, "How can I let Annie know about the bond between us, extending from our past lives into this one...?"

At that moment, the elderly lama, Sonam, pulled Gesang aside and said, "Gesang, my child, I have a premonition that one day you will face a life-or-death ordeal. When that time comes, you must return here and find me. Perhaps I can help you overcome that ordeal and continue fulfilling the mission you are meant to accomplish in this lifetime."

Gesang replied, "Thank you for the warning, Rinpoche Sonam. I will keep your words firmly in mind."

38

Inside the main hall, Zashi and the others had been waiting for Annie for quite some time. Zashi was beginning to feel anxious.

"Where has that girl gone? She said she was going to the restroom, and then she just disappeared!"

"I'll go check the restroom."

Meido hurried toward the restroom, but soon came back out.

"Annie isn't in there."

Zhangyang asked, "Could she have gotten lost? Let's split up and look for her."

Zashi said, "All right! Let's search separately. Whoever finds her should call the others on their cell phone. We'll meet back here in fifteen minutes."

The three of them split up to look for Annie.

A little while later, Gesang and Annie appeared together inside the main hall of Jokhang Temple. Zashi finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"I got lost inside the temple and ran into Gesang."

"Professor Zashi, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Zashi asked in surprise, "You two know each other?"

Gesang replied, "We met just yesterday, on Barkhor Street."

Zhangyang, standing nearby, saw Gesang and instinctively sensed that something was going on. He stared at Gesang with a suspicious expression.

Zashi smiled and said, "Then I won't need to introduce you. Over the past year, Gesang has provided me with a great deal of mural research material. He has devoted himself wholeheartedly to collecting, organizing, and studying Tibetan Buddhist murals."

39

In the hotel room, Annie leaned against the window and gazed at the street scene in the fading light of dusk. The love song by Tsangyang Gyatso came to mind:

"Whether you see me or do not see me, I am right there, neither sad nor joyful... Whether you follow me or do not follow me, my hand is already in yours."

Afterward, Annie took out a pen and paper, settled herself on the balcony by the window, and began writing a poem, one line at a time.

"Dreams Turned Upside Down"

The temple bells explode inside my body╱
Like ripened berries, bursting one by one╱
I hear the red blood cells in my veins╱
Drawing close to one another, passing on their codes╱
About being alive, that gold-embossed thread-bound book╱
Sealed with the mysteries of the soul╱
I have just returned from California╱
From the sunny shores beneath a clear blue sky╱
My body fat is saturated with oxygen, waiting to be╱
Ignited by a flash of Zen insight╱
And so I breathe in and out the universe╱
Completely purified inside a fireball╱
I attain enlightenment, becoming a wisp of smoke, a cloud╱
A crystal-clear lake reflecting the world upside down╱

The Buddha says: It cannot be spoken╱
Unless our hearts understand one another╱
Your sorrowful past life╱
Continues into my present life, drifting like the wind╱
A life in which I feel emptiness when we shake hands╱
And yet this is only a dream, a game unrelated to the next life╱
A game of love and indifference played on the same line╱

I close my doors to visitors, but I have no intention of shutting the windows╱
To write my memoirs╱
Those tales of moonlit snow and romantic spring nights, once uncovered╱
When the hard shell of a dream is cracked open╱
Turn out to be nothing more than a few volumes of romantic poetry╱
And a handful of strange stories╱
But when the realms of the living and the dead are divided╱
Human beings and ghosts must ultimately follow separate paths╱

This love was meant to endure, yet even then, I was already lost╱
I remain trapped inside a cocoon of love╱
Still unable to comprehend the vicissitudes of human existence╱
Until someone calls to me from a future life╱
Saying that transformation into a higher state comes only after experiencing impermanence and change╱
Let go of all sensations, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness╱
Leave behind inverted perceptions and deluded dreams╱
Then the Buddha will surely ferry me across╱
To the other shore of perfect wisdom...

Beside the bed, Meido was reading the book Annie had brought with her, An Illustrated Collection of Tibetan Esoteric Buddhist Murals and Stupa Designs.

40

Annie left the hotel and went to the nearby restaurant. She walked over to the wall and posted the poem she had just written.

Annie went to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. Sitting in a corner, she sipped her coffee and recalled various memories of her childhood with her grandmother, Drolma...

Near the university town of Berkeley in California, in a corner of the courtyard of the Tsangyang family home, Grandma Drolma was scattering barley seeds over a freshly prepared plot of soil. Nearby, little Annie, wearing a one-piece dress, held a small trowel. Her face and hands were smeared with dirt.

Little Annie asked curiously, "Grandma, will these seeds grow into flowers?"

Drolma replied, "These seeds will grow into stalks of barley. Just like wheat, they'll produce clusters of tiny flower spikes and then develop grains along the heads. Once the ears are dried and threshed, the grains are ground into flour. That's one of the main staple foods of the people back home."

At that moment, Zhangyang walked into the café and noticed Annie sitting there, lost in thought. After ordering a cup of coffee, he walked over and sat down across from her.

"Is something on your mind?"

Annie smiled. "I was remembering some things from my childhood."

Zhangyang asked with concern, "Are you adjusting to life on the Tibetan Plateau now that you've returned to Tibet, Annie?"

Annie nodded.

"When will you be going back to California?"

"I came back this time to search for a family heirloom that was lost: the original handwritten manuscript of Tsangyang Gyatso's love poems. I'll be staying here for a while until I find it."

Zhangyang said enthusiastically, "The manuscript of Tsangyang Gyatso's love poems you mentioned sounds like an important ancient cultural artifact. As it happens, I have an old friend who works at the local Cultural Relics Bureau. I'll go see him and ask them to help make inquiries."

Annie said, "Thank you for being so willing to help me."

Zhangyang cautiously asked, "That young Tibetan man who spoke with you twice... You two seemed to get along quite well."

Annie replied casually, "He's just a new friend. We happen to have a few things in common. That's all."

Her answer still left Zhangyang feeling uneasy, but he did not feel it was appropriate to press her any further.