On growing old gracefully(section)

                  Lin Yutang 林語堂

I have no doubt that the fact that the old men of America still insist on being so busy and active can be directly traced to individualism carried to a foolish extent. It is their pride and love of independence and shame of being dependent upon their children. But among the many human rights that the American people have provided for in their Constitution, they have strangely forgotten about the right to be fed by their childern, for it is a right and an obligation growing out of service. How can any one deny that parents who have toiled for their children in their youth, have lost many a good night’s sleep when they were ill, have washed their diapers long before they could talk and have spent about a quarter of a century bringing them up and fitting for life, have the right to be fed by them and loved and respected when they are old? ･･････The Chinese have not got the sense of individual independence because the whole conception of life is based upon the mutual help 

within the home; hence there is no shame attached to the circumstance of one’s being served by children in the sunset of one’s life. Rather it is considered good luck to have children taking care of one. One lives for nothing else in China.

   In the West, some old people  efface themselves and prefer to live alone in some hotel with a restaurant on the ground floor,

out of consideration for their children and an entirely unselfish desire not to interfere in their home life. But the old people have the right to interfere, and if interference is unpleasant, it is nevertheless natural, for all life, particularly the domestic life, is a lesson in restraint. Parents interfere with their children anyway when they are young, and the logic of non-interference is already seen in the behaviorists, who think that all children should be taken away from their parents.

紀念煩人又不可沒有的父母