作家
 
字體：小 中 大 |
|
|
|||
| 2011/05/25 01:23:49瀏覽341｜回應0｜推薦0 | |||
This incredible song by Linda Ronstadt, written by Randy Newman, is from the album of the same name released on March 14, 1995 on the Elektra label. The background singer is the equally talented Emmylou Harris. The song was later included in the 1999 CD, Trio II, by Emmylou Harris, Dolly Parton and Linda Ronstadt. Not their story, just the reason why they belong together. Song: Feels like home - Chantel Kreviazuk Song：Feels Like Home by Bonnie RaittHill Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself Makes me want to lose myself in your arms There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life If you knew how lonely my life has been And how long I've felt so low If you knew how I wanted someone to come along And change my life the way you've done Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong A window breaks down a long dark street And a siren wails in the night But I'm alright cause I have you here with me And I can almost see through the dark there's light If you knew how much this moment means to me And how long I've waited for your touch If you know how happy you are making me I've never thought I'd love anyone so much Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from Feels like home to me Feels like home to me Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong I hope you enjoy this video! In your eyes I find the answers to my questions In your arms, yeah, I found the world I've waited for In your touch found everything I ever needed I need nothing more Always dreamed of the day when my dream would find me Now my dream's beside me You are in my life In your arms I know where I belong I've never known this feeling, oh But it feels like home In your eyes I know what I can be You opened up your heart to me And it feels like home When I'm with you baby It feels like home. All this time there was not much to believe in I kept my faith, yeah, that you were waiting there for me I searched this world And now my search is finally over I found the one I need Always hoped for the day When my heart would find you Now my heart's beside you You are in my life In your arms I know where I belong I've never known this feeling, oh But it feels like home In your eyes I know what I can be You've opened up your heart to me And it feels like home It doesn't matter where I've been Or what I've been through 'Cause I know I've been waiting Every day of my life To be with you, to be with you whoa, In your arms I know where I belong I've never known this feeling oh, But it feels like home In your eyes I know what I can be You've opened up your heart to me, And it feels like home When I'm with you baby, it feels like home When I'm with you baby, it feels like home Feels like home, feels like home Feels like home, feels like home Feels like home, feels like home It feels like home
我在有一次專欄開塲時，曾談到一部電影《一路玩到掛》，裡面那兩個主角在埃及金字塔前講如何才能進天堂的事，那個修車工人問大富翁：「你這一生快不快樂？」「你有沒有幫助別人更快樂？」今天我想講的就是如何讓周遭的人更好、更快樂？包括家人、朋友、同事和小孩。 帶給別人歸屬感 (sense of belonging) 這件事非常重要。不管是夫妻、親子還是朋友，在一起時有沒有歸屬感，會直接影響彼此的情緒和感覺。人如果有歸屬感，會打自內心產生一種幸福快樂的感覺。 反過來說，做什麼事會讓人有失落感、讓人想離去？我想這就是職塲中主管常犯的毛病，常常批評、指責他的屬下，下面的人就想跑掉離開。 在親子關係中也是一樣，如果父母常常責罵小孩，小孩一定不想待在家裡，他們會跑掉，想跟自己的同伴在一起。因為跟他們在一起有歸屬感。 所以我想提醒老闆們的是，如果覺得給薪水給福利就好，那是不夠的，要讓人有歸屬感更重要。 與人愈親近就愈給人歸屬感 想像一下，如果我們是在大海上的同一條船，船沈了，我們最大的願望會是想抱住一塊木頭，讓頭浮在水面上，人在這時候最需要的是呼吸空氣，就像人平常需要吃飯睡覺，求生存一樣。 但能夠呼吸到空氣還不夠，久了會希望能找到一塊小島，想登陸尋求安全感，就像我們有飯吃、有衣服穿之後，會希望有自己的房子、有退休金，這也是在尋求安全感，生存和安全感是兩個最低層次的需求。 但是當人在島上待兩天之後，會開始感覺孤獨，沒有人跟他一起，他會想升煙火求救，希望有人來搭救，帶他回家，回到社會人群，他想要有歸屬感。 坦白說，我覺得台灣已經過了求生存的階段，80%的人也都達到有安全感的層次，有車子、有房子和各種保險、也為子女準備了教育基金。所以，如果要讓周圍人更快樂，我們可以問一問自己：「我們有沒有常常給別人歸屬感？」應該是常常而不是偶爾才做，是一有機會就要帶給別歸屬感。 歸屬感要怎樣給？ 簡而言之，我們如果能夠多加強跟人的關係，跟人愈來愈親近。就是給別人歸屬感。現代人都很忙，夫妻都忙著工作，因為工作而愈來愈疏遠；小孩也很忙，忙著念書補習，跟父母愈來愈疏遠，彼此在一起的感覺愈來愈低。 在這麼忙碌的社會下我們該怎麼辦？比如說，我一星期只有兩個晚上能回家吃飯，那麼吃完飯就不要忙著看報紙或看電視，而是跟孩子聊天，但不是跟他講道理，而是聽他講。卡內基說，最好的聆聽方法就是問他問題，比如問他：「這兩、三天學校裡發生了什麼事，你最想讓我知道的？」他就會開始講，但你不要邊看電視邊聽，而要專心聽，他也會愈講愈開心，那他就會有一種很強的歸屬感。 夫妻之間也是，我記得我30歲時已經有兩個孩子，我在空軍，租房子住，窮得不得了，要洗尿布，要烤尿布，但那段時間好寶貴，我們夫妻倆忙完、小孩睡了之後會坐在床上談心，聊一整天發生了什麼事。沒有人會想回到貧窮，但我們都很懷念那段時間，我們是在那時候培養出歸屬感，歸屬感是很高層次的東西，會讓人覺得幸福快樂。 想像一下，如果主管跟屬下說：「謝謝你把報告寫得那麼好，得到客戶的肯定，因為有你的幫忙，才能完成這件事。我很慶幸公司有你，你是公司很重要的支柱。」讚美肯定也不過花一、兩分鐘的事，卻能給屬下很強烈的歸屬感。 滿足內心深處最殷切的渴望 這種感覺很寶貴，但我們做主管、做父母的卻常常講不出來，因為會覺得好肉麻，擔心別人覺得我們是否另有企圖，居心不良，因為我們當初也是在這樣的思維中長大的，上面的人不會讚美我們，所以我們也做不出來。我們可以如何突破？我建議可以慢慢練習，一開始可能很不習慣，但多幾次就好了。 有個心理學家叫William James，他是哈佛大學的教授，有人稱他為現代心理學之父。他說：「人內心深處最殷切的渴望，就是希望被人肯定。」希望別人說他做得很好，希望別人讚美他。比如說，小孩考90分回來，你還說他很差、很笨，怎麼沒考100分？那麼你跟他的關係就會很差。 如果我們想幫助別人成長，希望他們快樂，就要在他們身上看到他們的優點、進步和成就，然後很有自信地表達出來，不要放在心裡不敢講，這是幫助別人更快樂的第一步，以後我會再慢慢講具體的作法。最有影響力的人，通常是擁有表達能力的人。 |
|||
| ( 不分類｜不分類 ) |
