When a family breaks up it is usually a father who is left behind. Here is one man's effort to not become lost to his children.

I first wrote this in 1997. I was in year 8 of what would be an 11 year struggle to pull my children from a woman whom I had been unable to tolerate, but, in my selfish ignorance, I had entrusted them to when I left. They were abused and neglected and while now in their 20’s still struggle to put it all behind them. They were taken half a continent from me and all they had known, and I had to choose whether to follow or stay so they could have roots. I still don’t know if I chose rightly. I was denied phone calls and my letters never were received. Gifts I sent were thrown away. I ran a fathers support group for a time and somehow during that time this letter made its way onto the internet, I don’t even know where. Apparently my name was still attached to it, because for years, as long as I had my original e-mail address, I got heartbreaking letters from fathers in my position. I hope it touches you as it did them, as it did me to write it.

Father’s Day. A Letter To My Children

I wanted to tell you, my most precious ones, what it has meant to me to have the privilege of you in my life, and how very sorry I am for how your life has been made so very much more difficult by choices and circumstances that were forced on you. This letter is my Father’s Day present to you.

Read more at Suite101: Fathers Day. A Letter To My Children http://www.suite101.com/content/fathers-day-a-letter-to-my-children-a331744#ixzz1AvfBkb2xWhen a family breaks up it is usually a father who is left behind. Here is one man's effort to not become lost to his children. I want you to know that I live each day missing you; the smell of you, your musical laughter, the amazing way you see the world, and still notice things I long ago stopped seeing. I miss being asked “Dad, how does this work” and “Dad can you help me with this”, “Dad, Can I sit on your lap?”. I miss walking into your room after you were asleep to watch over you. I miss the quiet peaceful look on your faces. I miss the chance to chances to teach you the things of life that I have learned. And I fear that because I cannot, you will repeat my mistakes needlessly. I have cried myself to sleep so many, many nights wishing for just the chance to hear those few words from your innocent mouths. “Good night, Dad. I Love you.”. Each of you was a gift from God; so precious and special, so moldable and tender, and so very much a part of me. I miss you. I am never far from thoughts of you; memories of our good times and our trials; wishes that things had turned out differently. Desperate hopes for your future and prayers that I may be fortunate enough to, somehow, remain in your heart enough to have a place in that future.

We have been apart so long, and know so very little of each other, that I fear that you have no use for me. I have not seen you in 2 years. We have grown, but not together. You no longer know me, that is not your fault. You were taken from me and I could not follow. The time I have lived without you will always be my most terrible regret. My gift to you is my promise; I will always love you. I will always be your Dad. No matter what happens in our lives to tear us apart I will always have a place for you in my heart, and in my home. Each of you is more valuable to me than you can know. Having you so far from me is the saddest experience of my life. I believe I have survived it only because I cannot allow myself to let you down again.

In a few short weeks you will be gone again, beginning another long part of our lives that will not include each other. Many more times of laughter and struggle that I will not be able to share with you. As you go through these times, know that I want to be a part of them with all my heart. When you hit a ball, win a contest, draw a picture, ride your bike, or take a nap, remember. At that very moment I am thinking of you, loving you, and missing you. When you remember me in your prayers at night, know that I am praying for you too. And when you are angry that I am not there to help with your homework or to teach you to do something, or to hug you because you are cold or afraid, remember that I am here, crying, because I miss you.

My gift is my promise. I will always love you.

Dad

http://www.suite101.com/content/fathers-day-a-letter-to-my-children-a331744