Share you a brief story of Gu-Wen-Guan-Zhi

Year 267 B.C, ancient China separated to 7 kingdoms, Chi, Chu, Yian, Qin, Han, Zhao, Wei. It is called this age the Warring States Era. This story is about kingdom Zhao, Qi, and Chin. Chin and Qi are powerful kingdoms but Zhao is weak. After the famous king of Zhao (Huiwen) dead, his child son (Xiaocheng), became the king of Zhao. Because Xiaocheng is too young to discuss political views, his mother Zhaotaiho(the Queen Mother) ruled this small kingdom. In this critical time of mourning, Chin assembled army preparing to attack Zhao.

It’s impossible to have a chance to survive under Chin’s attack without help. The only one possibility is to seek help from Qi. But Qi is not free to good deeds; they asked Zhaotaiho sending her youngest son Changanjun to Qi as a hostage. Then Qi was willing to send troops to assist Zhao. In fact, Zhaotaiho has three children; the eldest Xiaocheng had just ascended the throne. Of course, this young king cannot move to Qi. Another two are younger daughter Yan and youngest son Changanjun. Yan has been sent to another kingdom to be the queen. Now Changanjun is the only one choice, but he is the most beloved son of Zhaotaiho. Although many ministers persuaded Zhaotaiho sending this youngest son to Qi to rescue their kingdom, Zhaotaiho rejected them all. She even warned these ministers:

"If anyone daring to mention about the hostage, I will spit his face!"

While all the ministers were unable to apply another solutions and kept silent, a sage knew what to do. He is Teacher Chulong. One day, he came to Zhaotaiho.  Of course, she knew what the purpose of his coming and waited with anger, ready to spit his face soon.

Chulong prepared well in this situation, of course.

He walked to Zhaotaiho slowly then said,

"Excuse my lame foot to walk in difficulty. It’s a long time without greeting the Queen Mother. Please forgive my negligence. "

Knowing this is just a courtesy, Zhaotaiho replied perfunctorily: "The same as my foot, too. I rely on the carriage to travel now."

Chulong asked: "Is the daily appetite well?"

Zhaotaiho: "lack appetite, just grab a bite to eat porridge!"

Chulong: "While lacking appetite, I usually force myself to go for a walk every day, 1 or 2 miles. Exercise will make your appetite better!"

With these relaxed chatting, Zhaotaiho seems forget the things of spitting on him. She was pleasant and said: "Not too much can I walk!"

Chulong continued: "My youngest son is named Shuqi. I spoiled him too much so he lived a futile life. Now I am old and began to worry about the future of him. Could my Queen Mother grant him a job of palace guard, so that he can do something good for his homeland at least?"

Zhaotaiho: "Approved! How old is he this year?"

Chulong: "15 years old. This age is a bit younger, but I still hope to take advantage of Queen Mother when I am still alive."

Watching an old man who nursed his small son as the same as herself, Zhaotaiho has already eased in her moon. She said with mock: "So a man will also pamper his small son?"

Chulong answer: "Talking to spoiling youngest son, the man probably be much worse than a woman!"

Zhaotaiho listened and couldn’t stop but laugh: "No, no, no, I don’t think so!"

Chulong said: "In my private feel, Queen Mother quite spoiled your daughter Yan but love the youngest son Changanjun just generally."

Zhaotaiho replied: "You are wrong! I love Changanjun far more than my daughter!"

Chulong says: "The more parents love their children, the more they will do for long-term plans. I remember when Yen married, you Queen Mother hold her heel till apart under the wedding carriage reluctantly with tears streaming down. This is love! Although missed her in ritual, you always pray that she don’t be sent back. This is the so-called long-term plans! You hope she can get king’s love forever and her descendants can be king, right?"

Queen Mother said: "Absolutely!"

Chulong went on to say: "Queen Mother, do you know which descendant who can keep his marquis title today from three generations before, even back to the founding of Zhao?"

Queen Mother replied: "No one."

Chulong asked: "Well, do you know which descendant who can reserve his marquis title today in other kingdoms?"

Queen Mother replied: "Never."

Chulong said: "Why these descendants cannot keep the marquis title? Because when they are inherent high position and enjoyed unlimited wealth, there is no contribution for the kingdom. Now Changanjun owned large fertilized land that you bestowed, but never had the opportunity to earn meritorious for the kingdom. If one day you are gone, Queen Mother, Changanjun lost the shelter of you. How can he survive without merits in the future? This is why I said you love Yen more than Changanjun! "

After listening his expression, Zhaotaiho thought for a long time. Finally she said: "Well! You are right. Let you arrange the request of Qi and send Changanjun as hostage!"

In fact, this story is the famous "Chulong convinced Zhaotaiho”. There are many helicopter parents in our age. This story is an alarm bell for us.

If you are a PM, or engaged in any work requiring communication and coordination, this story is also valuable for reference. Chulong is really the top expert of convince. Most ministers will try the point of view from the national security or try to use "objective reason" to persuade Zhaotaiho, hoping her "sacrifice" his son to exchange the security of kingdom. Contrary to general, Chulong softened the tension of atmosphere and the relationship between he and Zhaotaiho first, using daily gossip and the angle of "love" to impress and remind her. She should "win" the future for her son. Finally, not only did he get the support from Zhaotaiho without spit, but also maintains the goal of national security. In fact, when it comes to human nature, "affair" is always more important than the "righteousness"; and "incentives" are often stronger than the "threat". Basically, this never changed in these thousands of years!

Reference

• The way to convince Zhaotaiho(Chinese)