Mr. Snowden undressed for the doctor's examination. "I am going to press on various parts of your body," said the doctor. "Tell me if it hurts or not." The doctor prodded until he found a sensitive spot. "How long has it hurt you there?" inquired the doctor. "Approximately three months. But it really doesn't hurt much." "According to my X rays, lab reports, and my examination I think we'll have to operate." "Oh,no!" moaned Mr. Snowden. "There's nothing to worry about," declared the doctor, "With our modern anes thetics and know-how, it won't hurt a bit." "How much will the operation cost?" "With the hospitalization and my fee─about fifteen hundred dollars." Mr. Snowden groaned, "Now, that really hurts!"

2.The Unconcerned Husband

Marge often burned with anger because her husband Elmer seemed to ignore her. "How do you like my new hat?" asked Marge proudly. "Uh huh … It's all right." "Do't you think my new dress is cute?" "It'll do." "Do you think the white shoes will go with it?" "Oh, I guess so." "Do you think the shell necklace clashes with the blouse?" "It's O.K." "Why don't you put down the newspaper,dear?" Marge hissed through clenched teeth. "In a few minutes." "Do you mind if I season your supper tonight with arsenic?" "Whatever you wish, dear."

3.The Terrible Temper

When Tiger Kelsey lost his temper, he resembled a typhoon. "Tiger," murmured his girl friend Lily, "Tiger, honey, may I give you some advice? "Sure, Lily, sure." "when you lose your temper, count to ten." "Sure, that's it. I'll count to ten." Fifteen minutes later the sounds of fighting and screaming, moans and groans drifted into the house. Lily ran outside to see what had happened. To her horror an unconscious man lay on the side-walk and standing over him with clenched fists was Tiger. Lily stared angrily at Tiger. "He called me stupid and I saw red," sputtered Tiger. "Didn't you count to ten as I said?" admonished Lily. "Yeah, I counter to ten," said Tiger defensively, "but he never got up."

4.The New Dress

Helen, sporting a new dress, strutted down the office building corridor with Portia. "How do you like my new outfit?" asked Helen with a smile. "It's the latest from Paris ." "It's real chic." "I'm going to be the envy of all the office women. Notice how they all look at me when I walk down the hall." "Yes, I notice." "Even the men do a double take." "That's wonderful," commented Portia. "But I should tell you something." "What?" "Your slip is showing."

5.The Heart Of Gold

Dudley needed to go to the dentist. "Beatrice," he said to his girl friend. "Can you recommed a good dentist?" "Certainly," she answered. "Why don't you go to Dr.Glick. I admire him. He's charming, honest, and has a heart of gold." "Good, I'll see him," Dudey said. "I have a cavity the size of Crater Lake." Dudley went to Dr. Glick the following day. Beatrice questioned him afterwards. "Wasn't I right about Dr. Glick? He's got a heart of gold. He'll give you all the time in the world to pay your bills." Dudley nodded. "Yes, I agree. Dr. Glick does have a heart of gold, and I have a mouthful of silver."

6.The Face-Lift

Denise felt very self-conscious about her face. "I'm ugly," she said to herself as she looked into a mirror. "My nose is crooked, my chin is weak, my ears stick out, and I have bags under my eyes." In desperation she went to a plastic surgeon and had a face-lift. Her chin was strengthened, her nose remodeled, her ears adjusted, and the bags under her eyes removed. After months of suffering, the ordeal was finally over. She was now able to entertain friends ,but she still sulked about herself. One day her friend Joan looked at her in amazement. "I don't know why you look so sad. You now have the face of a movie star." "I know,"sobbed Denise. "But now my new face doesn't go along with my old body."

7.The Eager Beaver

Ronald was a new employee at the insurance office, but in a short time all his fellow workers began to complain about him. "He's an eager beaver," protested one worker. "He does so much work that it makes all of us look bad." "What's he trying to do?" wailed another employee. "Get a promotion?" Two weeks later Ronald was called into the office of the personnel manager. "Ronald, you're a good worker, but I have bad news for you," announced the manager. "We'll have to lay you off." "Why? I don't understand. I did more work than all the staff put together." "That's the trouble." "The staff had nothing to worry about. I wasn't going to take away their jobs." " I wasn't worried about their jobs. I was worried about MINE."

8.The Bus Stop

Molly, a heavy-set, elderly lady, rushed breathlessly onto the municipal bus. she sat down with her shopping bag between her legs and caught her breath. A half hour later she moaned, "Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I hope I don't miss my bus stop!" "Why don't you remind the bus driver?" advised a friendly stranger. Molly tottered down the aisle, almost losing her balance. "Driver … driver. I can't miss my bus stop! If I do, I'll be late. Mister, please announce my stop." "Relax, lady," roared the driver. "I'll tell you when we get to your stop. Where are you going?" "The bus terminal."

9.The Engagement Ring

Edgar held his sweetheart's hand tenderly. "Cloris,I do love you," whispered Edgar. "And that's why I want to …." "Propose?" interrupted Cloris joyously. "You took the word right out of my mouth," sighed Edgar. "Will you?" "I will! I will!' clamored Cloris. Edgar reached for a little black box in his vest pocket and with great care removed the contents. "What!" came the terrible scream from Cloris. "You call that an engagement ring! I am humiliated … insulted. The diamond is no larger than a grain of salt." "I'm sorry." gulped Edgar. "I bought this ring on a special sale and that's why they threw this in as a bonus." And he pulled out a large magnifying glass.

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