Sitting in a closed coffee shop in a small university in Thousand Oak, California, I think about many weired things in my current life. Without the availability of buying a cup of coffee, I am instead having a bottle of Dr Pepper, a diet one. Sipping sugar water displaces my mind. The existence of Albert is reduced to little in this sunny, windy Friday afternoon.

California, California, California, can I hate you and love you simultaneously? It is you the land of hope that rejuvenates me, making possible my rebirth in America. It is also you the land of hope that finds a place for love for me. The love is yet to be a relationship, and it can never be solid in future. Then a sense of bizarreness pours into my life. It starts from a place in San Francisco called Union Square, continues and finally reaches San Francisco’s seashore and Piers where I was hopelessly saddened and then stranded. I can never forget how ironically a broken heart and the gorgeous city San Francisco can match.  A dawn in the Bay area is beautifully decorated by the Golden Gate Bridge. In this scene I was a little jogger, so little that I did not even know where to find a destination. When she left, I was forced to wander around in California.

Los Angeles is somehow an uglier city. My obsession with romance can be largely removed in LA. And yet the ash of loneliness remains in my very deep mind. Let it be. The loneliness, I believe, will eventually flow and disappear. Let it be, the only thing I can do.

Now I am in LA, getting ready for a coming task. Without a cup of coffee, I have lost a chance to become a drunker in the sunny California. Oh well, let's call it a day.