主要是我懷恨

主要是我懷恨。

痛恨加氣憤！

我恨這個世界

危險又噁心。

它的表面常起

災害與禍亂，

它的住戶常是

醜陋且野蠻。

自從開始懂事，

我就曾恨起；

隨著年齡成長，

增恨更生氣。

希望有朝一日，

我能有能力，

澈底予以改造，

雪恥並興義。

我會把地球敲碎，

和成一團好土；

依照完美的藍圖，

把它重雕塑！

再訂新軌與優律；

使其平穩運行。

重行佈置新生命，

仁愛又和平。

或許我會去買，

說不定偷或搶，

一枝大口徑的

自動自走的槍。

然後會駕著它，

到處去流浪，

看到了人或獸，

立刻就開槍!

但我能打多久？

又可能殺多少？

而不會被別人

從背後槍殺了？

你以為這樣打，

一定很過癮？

會出了我的氣，

消了我的恨？

每人滿身彈孔，

自己彈孔滿身，

也出不了幾成，

泄不了幾分！

對於全人類，

算興了甚麽義？

對於我自己，

能得到甚麽利？

對於這世界，

會造了更多孽。

對於許多人，

會引起更多恨。

在陰曹地府裡，

我會更生氣！

不但恨天地，

甚至恨自己。

*節錄自作者的長詩《姐妹花》，引用茱麗雅（一枝野花）的話。

英文原詩附後

並請批評指正

       主要是我懷恨

The Chief Reason Is I Hate **

“The chief reason is I hate,

I hate with ache and fury!

I hate this small world,

so fearful and filthy! 

“I am horrified to stay on its surface,

both risky and rocky.

I am nauseous to live with its inmates,

both ugly and motley.

“I have been hating it

since I knew the taste.

The more I grow up

the degree increases.

“I hope may be strong enough,

someday, someway;

so I can try to reform,

to retaliate!

“I’ll smash it into fragments,

mix it into molding clay;

then recast it anew

in a perfect way.

 “I’ll twirl it to turn properly,

to move in a smoother way,

fit it with likely kind of lives,

kindly and lovely!

*                    *                    *

“Perhaps I’ll try to buy,

or steal, or swindle a gun:

a big caliber, automatic,

auto-moving gun.

“So I can fire at everyone,

everything, everywhere,

I know, I see, I can!

“But, how long can I fire,

how much can I have done,

before I myself am fired at

by someone from behind?

“Do you think this way

can vent my hatred?

“No, even if everybody

is totally exploded,

and my own body is

thoroughly perforated!

“What good would be

for the world and me?

“I would initiate more hate,

leave more evil, on earth.

“I would suffer more,

hate further,

even hate myself --

in Hades.”

** Another excerpt from the author’s long poem “Sister Goddesses”,

     Quoted also from the monologue of Jouliu, the “prostitute”.