官 笑

    An Official Laugh

“For those who are above me,

for my superiors,

likewise I should be

a good inferior.          

“Maybe I should

more grudgelessly offer.

Mostly I would

further shamelessly flatter.

“I can’t know whether

they like or dislike it.

I don’t care how I am

disgusted -- detest it!

“I’d follow the manner

without any honor.

I’d pursue my purpose

with enormous effort.

 “It’s because I also desire authority,

I too love and require money.

I need them to nurture my mistresses,

to win honor to my family.

“That’s the only way I can approach,

then to snatch and catch them;

yet the only way I can firmly hold,

then freely handle them!

    *            *             *

“I’d honor my bosses as gods,

be subservient as a dog or servant;

hold out my highest homage,

submit my servilest service.

“Wag my tail to entice their glance.

Roll on my back to get their praise and pats.

Kiss their hands to beg for errands.

Rear on my hind legs to earn the bones and scraps.

“Let them pull me by my ears.

Let them spit in my face.

Let them hit me on the head,

kick me in the ass!

“Hear them talk nonsense.

Watch them commit sins.

Listen to their orders through their noses.

Read their directions by their chins.

“‘Yes, sir.

You’re right.

You’re all mighty.

You’re all wise!

“‘Yes, sir.

I’ll do it right,

with much delight,

with all my might!

    *            *             *

“However, they’re not gods.

Anyway, they’re still men.

It’s not that they’re big so they’re divine.

The bigger they are, the more inhuman! 

“They too are dogs.

They too are servants.

Only they belong to some bigger bosses,

obliged to attend some meaner errands.

“They’d wash their masters’ pots,

wash their mistresses’ lingerie;

blink their eyes, sniff their noses,

and declare, ‘They’re lovely!’

“They’d lick their masters’ feet,

lick their mistresses’ seats;

cock their heads, smack their lips,

and proclaim, ‘They are great!’

*            *             *

“Every day after those plays:

those ironic, bitter plays;

I the actor, also the spectator,

trudge back tired and late.

“My heart is mortally sick,

body is limply weak.

My belly constricts with nausea,

head splits with ache.

“Feebly I clamber onto my big bed,

still wearing my shoes and hat,

lie there for quite a long time,

utterly silent and quiet.

“Suddenly I start to giggle,

as if overly drugged.

Giggle out my saliva.

Giggle out of breath.

“Convulse as a turkey.

Roll as a donkey.

Giggle, my bed --

creaks and cracks!        

“Then I jump up to laugh,

as if fully drunk.

Laugh out my tears. 

Laugh off my jaws!

“Clap like an idiot.

Stomp as a gorilla.

Laugh, my house --

squeaks and squawks!

 “Subsequently I lie down to weep:

trembling, choking as if I’ll die.

“Moan as a cow.

Groan as a sow.

Wipe my eyes sore.

Weep my tears dry.

“Then I clamber up to cry:

crying loud and wild!

“Blare as a siren.

Roar as a lion.

Yell my chest aches.

Howl my throat cracks!

“Until all the neighbors are riled up.

Most of them turn on their lights.

Some open their windows,

or open their doors. 

“Cry even louder –

cry all together!

Damn the Almighty,

curse my ancestors.

“One night there came two cops

with shackles and revolvers.

Another night came a doctor

with ambulance and nurses.

“That night there came --

a crew of undertakers!

With sheets and shrouds --

stretcher and hearse.”