Source: E-mail from Sister Janet/USA to share.

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

& Law of Gravity 
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

& Law of Probability 
The probability of being watched is directly proportional
to the stupidity of your act.

& Law of Random Numbers 
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
and someone always answers.

& Law of the Alibi 
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.

& Variation Law 
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

& Law of Close Encounters 
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.

& Law of the Result 
When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.

& The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Physical Surfaces 
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Logical Argument 
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.

& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.        

& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy    
As soon as you find a product that you really
like, they will stop making it.  

& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go
to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel
better. Don't make an appointment and you'll
stay sick.