【一】言多必失

妻子：「你的女秘書在公司工作幾年了？」
丈夫：「四年。」
妻子：「年紀多大了？」
丈夫：「三十多了，沒實際問過。」
妻子：「長的漂亮嗎？」
丈夫：「很一般。」
妻又問：「穿衣服怎麼樣？」
丈夫：「很快。」

【二】毅中各表精華回顧

◎ 被喻為「爆料天王」 PK 「復仇王子」之戰。
◎ 邱毅強調這是「俠客戰嫖客」的辯論。
◎ 陳致中大罵邱毅「不要臉」。
◎ 邱毅回罵陳致中「畜牲」。
◎ 陳致中說，邱毅什麼都是假的，只有假髮是真的。
◎ 網友說，陳致中意圖不使人戴假髮是「撕髮迫害」。
◎ 陳致中說，邱毅如有戴假髮，涉及「使公務員登載不實」，是嚴重法律問題。

總評：笑果十足，精彩度及娛樂性皆大勝總統、副總統辯論會。

【三】

某村莊有一位牧師去世了，而同一天，剛好有個巴士司機也死了，但是牧師下了地獄，而司機卻上了天堂。
不服氣的牧師跑去向上帝抱怨說：「上帝啊，為什麼我那麼終身奉獻傳教，卻下了地獄，那巴士司機開車橫衝直撞的，卻上了天堂，這很不公平。」
上帝說：「怎麼會？你每次在講道時，台下的人全都睡著了，而巴士司機每次開車時，全車的人都在向我祈禱。」

【四】

法官：「我到這個地方以來，七年來已經在法庭上見過你七次，難道你不覺得羞恥嗎？」
被告：「你一直不能升官，又不是我的錯。」

【五】Words Using "BRA"

Q: Which is the striped BRA? zeBRA
Q: Poisonous BRA? coBRA
Q: Mathematical BRA? algeBRA
Q: Zodiacal BRA? liBRA
Q: Magical BRA? aBRAcadaBRA
Q: Religious BRA? BRAhmin! BRAhma!
Q: Metallic bra? BRAss
Q: Angelina Jolie's Bra? BRAd pitt
Q: Botany BRA? BRAnch
Q: Marketing BRA? BRAnd
Q: Punctuation bra? BRAcket
Q: Scary bra? GhaBRAhat
Q: A room where BRAs are kept? LiBRAry
Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world? ABRAham Lincoln
Q: Which bra is very important for any vehicle? BRAke
Q: Brave Bra - BRAvado
Q: Donkeys' language? BRAying
Q: Where do naughty thoughts originate? BRAin

【六】

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband.
Lady: I lost my Husband.
Inspector: What is his height?
Lady: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Lady: Not slim can be healthy.
Inspector: Colour of his eyes?
Lady: Never noticed.
Inspector: Colour of his hair?
Lady: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was he wearing?
Lady: Suit/Casual I don't remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with him?
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 26 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together & the lady started crying :'(
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first.

【七】

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

【八】

一隻公牛慌張的對母牛說：「快跑，電視名嘴來了。」
母牛：「名嘴來就來，我幹嗎要跑？」
公牛：「名嘴專吹牛，妳還不跑。」
狂奔的母牛回頭對公牛說：「為什麼你也跟著跑？」
公牛：「唉，妳不知道，那些名嘴不只吹牛，還會扯淡（蛋）！」

【九】

空中小姐在飛機上遞了一杯酒給神父。
「現在離地面多高？」神父問。
「三萬英尺。」
「我看我還是不喝的好，因為這兒離我們的總部太近了。」

【十】

有個官員在江邊看春天的景色，十分陶醉，於是出了個上聯——「五月黃梅天」，要隨從的官員對下聯。半天沒人對得上，倒是一個睡在簷下的酒鬼，張開眼睛說：「三星白蘭地。」

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