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笑話(全是英文)
心情隨筆心情日記 2017/06/15 06:38:49

祝大家開心大笑。


1.

A boy goes with his mother in a taxi,

In between taxi passes by a red light area.

The boy asks his mother after looking at the call girls,

Mom, who are they ?

Mother replied: They are waiting for their husbands.

Taxi driver: Why are you lying the kid ?

He says, son they are prostitutes. They sleep and earn money!

Child Asks: Then mom what happens to the kids these women give birth to?

MOM : THEY BECOME TAXI DRIVERS

2.

Baby mosquito came back after 1st time flying.

His mom asked him “How do you feel?”

He replied “It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"

3.

Man with Gun goes in bank & demands….

Once he is given money,
he turns to a lady & asks: ‘Did you see me rob the bank?

Lady : ‘Yes, I did’.

Robber shot her in the head.

Then He turned to a couple & asked the man: ‘Did you see me rob d bank?’

Man said ‘No sir, but my wife did…

4.

I was in the bar yesterday when i suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.

The music was really really loud, so i timed my Farts with the beats.

After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then i suddenly remembered that i was listening to my iPod.

5.

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

6.

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too…’

7.

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

8.

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.

9.

  1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans .
  2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans .
  3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans .
  4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans .
  5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans .

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

10.

A Guy Picked Up For A Date

Guy: “Why Are You Wearing Your Belt Around Your Knee?”

Girl: “I Promised My Mother That I Wouldn’t Let You Touch Me Below My Belt?“


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