Dear Frank,

To be honest, I have read what you shared here for several times. All I can say is I agree with you totally. I think the more mature one should include not only the positve principles but also negative principles since no one can promise and guarantee to manage one's life so perfectly or positively,  life has its ups and downs, bad days and good days, or positive emotions and negative feelings. 

Besides, no one should play the role as the giver all the time. Somehow, everyone should learn how to ask for assisstance or request for something in a skillful way. 

Maybe being a taker from time to time, learning how to be taken care of is the lesson I am eager to learn.

So far, I feel safe only in front of " Him", and play the role as a taker naturally from time to time. But maybe two of us are too passive and no one seems to have a willing to take an active role. Hahahahaha

By the way, I really appreciate what you have shared here. Thanks a lot.

Helen

愛是什麼? 容易嗎? 艱難嗎? 此乃人生之大哉問. 人生行走至此, 只能說明自己當下的愛情婚姻觀點---- 見得很也不少了, 對人的個性的認知, 越瞭解越覺得寬廣與複雜.

什麼是對的伴侶?  要正面表列? 還是負面表列? 原則在哪邊?

分享我的正面表列原則吧! 對對方的高度認同, 溝通無礙,欣賞對方的優點特質, 瞭解也能包容對方的較弱之處, 雙方能夠有很深的敞開空間. 能夠一起分享生活尊重彼此尊嚴.

負面表列原則呢! 絕對不能傷及對方的尊嚴, 也不能有很狹礙及易悲觀作繭自縛的特性, 絕對不是把自己的幸福及一切完全交由對方來承擔.

記得我的朋友說過   "幸福不要希望別人給"  所以囉 你也可以主動點跟他聊聊天阿  對方也許不知道如何進入你的生活 如何認識你 如果你也覺得對方不錯的話  下次記得主動跟他聊聊喔  YACHING