【書摘】在少女們身旁—與少女們的情誼 (Friendship with Girls) 12
Nous allâmes retrouver les autres jeunes filles pour rentrer. Je savais maintenant que j’aimais Albertine ; mais hélas ! je ne me souciais pas de le lui apprendre. C’est que, depuis le temps des jeux aux Champs-Élysées, ma conception de l’amour était devenue différente, si les êtres auxquels s’attachaient successivement mon amour demeuraient presque identiques. D’une part l’aveu, la déclaration de ma tendresse à celle que j’aimais ne me semblait plus une des scènes capitales et nécessaires de l’amour ; ni celui-ci, une réalité extérieure mais seulement un plaisir subjectif. Et ce plaisir, je sentais qu’Albertine ferait d’autant plus ce qu’il fallait pour l’entretenir qu’elle ignorerait que je l’éprouvais.
(l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47)
我們又和其他少女會齊，踏上歸途。現在我知道我愛的是阿爾貝蒂娜了。可惜，我倒不為讓她知道此事而操心。自從在香榭麗舍大街遊戲以來，雖然我的愛情相繼眷戀的人幾乎都一樣，我的愛情觀卻已發生變化。一方面，向我心愛的人傾訴，表白自己的柔情，我似乎覺得這不再是談戀愛最重要、最必要的一幕了；愛情本身，我似乎也覺得不是外在的現實，而只是主觀的快樂了。這種快樂，我感到，唯其阿爾貝蒂娜不知道我會感受到，她才會更加高高興興地去作一切必須做的事來維繫它。
(p.545 追憶似水年華 II 在少女們身旁 聯經版 1992)
我倆去找其他少女一起回巴爾貝克。我現在知道自己愛的是阿爾貝蒂娜；但是，唉，我不想讓她知道。因為自從在香榭麗舍公園跟吉爾貝特一起玩耍以來，雖然我相繼愛上的女孩都是大同小異的，我的愛情觀卻發生了很大變化。對著心上人把柔情向她表白，向她傾訴，我已經不再覺得是愛情最主要的、必不可少的場景；就連愛情本身，也不再是外在的現實，而只是一種主觀的愉悅了。而且我覺得，阿爾貝蒂娜只有在她不知曉我感到愉悅的情況下，才會繼續努力為我提供這樣的愉悅。
(p.317 追尋逝去的時光 II 在少女花影下 第二部 上海譯文版 周克希譯 2004)
We went back to the wood to pick up the other girls and go home together. I knew now that I was in love with Albertine; but, alas! I had no thought of letting her know it. This was because, since the days of our games in the Champs-Elysées, my conception of love had become different, even if the persons to whom my love was successively assigned remained practically the same. For one thing, the avowal, the declaration of my passion to her whom I loved no longer seemed to me one of the vital and necessary incidents of love, nor love itself an external reality, but simply a subjective pleasure. And as for this pleasure, I felt that Albertine would do everything necessary to furnish it, all the more since she would not know that I was enjoying it.
(Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff)
It was time to go home, and we walked back toward the other girls. I knew now that I loved Albertine, but I was in no hurry, alas, to tell her: the fact was that, since the time when I had played at the Champs-Elysées, my notion of love had undergone a change, while those to whom my love was addressed, though they were consecutive, remained unchanged. For one thing, the confession of love, the declaration of my tenderness to her whom I loved, no longer seemed to be one of love’s classic and indispensable scenes; and for another, love itself, instead of appearing to be a reality external to me, now seemed a subjective pleasure. I sensed that the less Albertine knew about this pleasure of mine, the more she would be likely to let me go on enjoying it.
(Translated by James Grieve)
|
字體：小 中 大
