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【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜之死 (Albertine’s death) 14-2
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【書摘】女逃亡者阿爾貝蒂娜之死 (Albertine’s death) 14-2
Mais mon souvenir, n’évoquant d’elle que des moments, demandait de la revoir telle qu’elle n’aurait déjà plus été si elle avait vécui; ce qu’il voulait c’était un miracle qui satisfît aux limites naturelles et arbitraires de la mémoire, qui ne peut sortir du passé. Avec la naïveté des théologiens antiques, je l’imaginais m’accordant les explications, non pas même qu’elle eût pu me donner mais, par une contradiction dernière, celles qu’elle m’avait toujours refusées pendant sa vie. Et ainsi, sa mort étant une espèce de rêve, mon amour lui semblerait un bonheur inespéréi; je ne retenais de la mort que la commodité et l’optimisme d’un dénouement qui simplifie, qui arrange tout.
(l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47)

然而我現在還只能回憶起她的某些瞬間因此我非常希望能在回憶中重新看見她即使在世也不可能復得的樣子我希望在回憶中看見的其實是一種奇跡因為這奇跡能夠補償記憶力的天然而專橫的局限這種奇跡是不可能來自過去的。不過我是以古代神學家的天真去想像這栩栩如生的女人的,我想像她對我作出了解釋,不是她可能作出的解釋,而是新近的矛盾使她在生前總是拒絕對我作出的解釋。這樣,她的死既然是某種夢幻一般的東西,我對她的愛也就仿佛成了她意想不到的幸福;對她的死亡我只考慮那是合適而理想的結局,這結局可以使一切變得簡單而且得到妥善的解決。
(p.99~100 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992)

But my memory, calling up only detached moments of her life, asked to see her again as she would already have ceased to be, had she lived; what it required was a miracle which would satisfy the natural and arbitrary limitations of memory which cannot emerge from the past. With the simplicity of the old theologians, I imagined her furnishing me not indeed with the explanations which she might possibly have given me but, by a final contradiction, with those that she had always refused me during her life. And thus, her death being a sort of dream, my love would seem to her an unlooked-for happiness; I saw in death only the convenience and optimism of a solution which simplifies, which arranges everything.
(Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff)

But my memory, evoking only moments from her life, wanted to see her again in a certain guise that would no longer have been hers even if she had still been alive; what it wanted was a miracle to satisfy the natural, arbitrary limits of memory, trapped in the past. And yet I imagined this living creature with all the naivety of the theologians of antiquity, granting me, not the explanations which she could have offered, but, through a supreme contradiction, those which she had always refused to give me while she was alive. And thus her death was a kind of dream, my love would seem to her an unexpected happiness; of death I retained only the usefulness and optimism of an outcome which simplifies and settles everything.
(Translated by Peter Collier)

( 知識學習隨堂筆記 )
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