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| 2017/09/08 05:15:20瀏覽535｜回應0｜推薦11 | |
| 【書摘】索多姆和戈摩爾—對外祖母的想念 (Missing Grandmother) 8-2 Pour ne plus rien voir, je me tournai du côté du mur, mais hélas, ce qui était contre moi c’était cette cloison qui servait jadis entre nous deux de messager matinal, cette cloison qui, aussi docile qu’un violon à rendre toutes les nuances d’un sentiment, disait si exactement à ma grand’mère ma crainte à la fois de la réveiller, et, si elle était éveillée déjà, de n’être pas entendu d’elle et qu’elle n’osât bouger, puis aussitôt, comme la réplique d’un second instrument, m’annonçant sa venue et m’invitant au calme. Je n’osais pas approcher de cette cloison plus que d’un piano où ma grand’mère aurait joué et qui vibrerait encore de son toucher. Je savais que je pourrais frapper maintenant, même plus fort, que rien ne pourrait plus la réveiller, que je n’entendais aucune réponse, que ma grand’mère ne viendrait plus. Et je ne demandais rien de plus à Dieu, s’il existe un paradis, que d’y pouvoir frapper contre cette cloison les trois petits coups que ma grand’mère reconnaîtrait entre mille, et auxquels elle répondrait par ces autres coups qui voulaient dire : « Ne t’agite pas, petite souris, je comprends que tu es impatient, mais je vais venir », et qu’il me laissât rester avec elle toute l’éternité, qui ne serait pas trop longue pour nous deux. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47 ) 一眼望去，四周皆空，我轉頭面壁，不幸的是，擋住我視野的正是昔日充當我們倆之間報晨使者的那堵牆壁，它宛若提琴一般乖巧，把一種情感精妙入微的色彩表達得淋漓盡致，把我內心的懼怕準確無誤地傳達給外祖母：我既害怕把她驚醒，而若她已經醒來，我又擔心她沒有聽到，怕她不敢走動；緊接著，它像第二種樂器發出回聲，向我通報她正走過來，請我儘量放心。這堵隔牆，我不敢向它靠近，彷彿這是一架鋼琴，外祖母興許彈奏過，至今餘音不絕。我知道現在可以任我敲擊，敲得再有勁些也無妨，再也不可能把她吵醒，我再也聞不到任何回音，外祖母再也不會過來。倘若天堂真的存在，我別無它求，只請上帝能在這堵隔牆上輕輕地敲擊三聲，外祖母準會從千萬種聲響中立即辨清，回擊三聲，意思是說：「別焦急，小耗子，我明白你等不及了，可我這就過來。」然後，祈求上帝讓我跟外祖母永生永世在一起，對我們倆來說，永生永世在一起，也不嫌長。 (p.175~176 追憶似水年華 IV 索多姆和戈摩爾 聯經版1992) To escape from the sight of it, I turned to the wall, but alas what was now facing me was that partition which used to serve us as a morning messenger, that partition which, as responsive as a violin in rendering every fine shade of sentiment, reported so exactly to my grandmother my fear at once of waking her and, if she were already awake, of not being heard by her and so of her not coming, then immediately, like a second instrument taking up the melody, informed me that she was coming and bade me be calm. I dared not put out my hand to that wall, any more than to a piano on which my grandmother had played and which still throbbed from her touch. I knew that I might knock now, even louder, that I should hear no response, that my grandmother would never come again. And I asked nothing better of God, if a Paradise exists, than to be able, there, to knock upon that wall the three little raps which my grandmother would know among a thousand, and to which she would reply with those other raps which said: “Don’t be alarmed, little mouse, I know you are impatient, but I am just coming,” and that He would let me remain with her throughout eternity which would not be too long for us. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff ) So as no longer to see, I turned toward the wall, but, alas, against me was the partition that had served of 0k1 between us as a morning messenger, that partition which, docile as a violin in rendering all the nuances of a feeling, spoke so exactly to my grandmother of my fear both of waking her up, or, if she was already awake, of not being heard by her, and of her not daring to move, then at once, like a second instrument taking it up, announcing her coming and exhorting me to stay calm. I no more dared to approach that partition than a piano on which my grandmother had been playing and that was vibrating still from her touch. I knew that now I could knock, more loudly even, that nothing could again wake her, that I would not hear any response, that my grandmother would never again come. And I asked nothing more of God, if there is a paradise, than to be able to give there the three little taps on that partition that my grandmother would recognize anywhere, and to which she would respond with those other taps that meant, “Don’t fret yourself, little mouse, I realize you’re impatient, but I’m just coming,” and that he should let me remain with her for all eternity, which would not be too long for the two of us. (Translated by John Sturrock) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
