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| 2017/08/18 05:47:20瀏覽501｜回應0｜推薦12 | |
| 【書摘】索多姆和戈摩爾—對外祖母的想念 (Missing Grandmother) 2 Je venais d’apercevoir, dans ma mémoire, penché sur ma fatigue, le visage tendre, préoccupé et déçu de ma grand’mère, telle qu’elle avait été ce premier soir d’arrivée, le visage de ma grand’mère, non pas de celle que je m’étais étonné et reproché de si peu regretter et qui n’avait d’elle que le nom, mais de ma grand’mère véritable dont, pour la première fois depuis les Champs-Élysées où elle avait eu son attaque, je retrouvais dans un souvenir involontaire et complet la réalité vivante. Cette réalité n’existe pas pour nous tant qu’elle n’a pas été recréée par notre pensée (sans cela les hommes qui ont été mêlés à un combat gigantesque seraient tous de grands poètes épiques) ; et ainsi, dans un désir fou de me précipiter dans ses bras, ce n’était qu’à l’instant – plus d’une année après son enterrement, à cause de cet anachronisme qui empêche si souvent le calendrier des faits de coïncider avec celui des sentiments – que je venais d’apprendre qu’elle était morte. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 我在記憶中剛剛發現了外祖母那張不安、失望、慈祥的面龐，對我的疲憊傾盡疼愛，我來此的第一個夜晚，外祖母就是這副形象；這並不是我那位徒留其名的外祖母的面孔，我對她很少懷念，連自己也感到吃驚，並為此而責備自己；這是我那位名副其實的外祖母的臉龐，自從她在香榭麗舍大街病發以來，我第一次從一個無意但卻完整的記憶中重又看到了外祖母活生生的現實形象。對我們來說，這種現實形象只有通過我們思維的再創造才可能存在 (不然，凡在大規模戰鬥中沾過邊的人個個都可成為偉大的史詩詩人)；就這樣，我狂熱地渴望投入她的懷抱，而只有在此刻——她安葬已經一年多了，原因在於年月確定有誤，此類錯誤屢屢出現，致使事件日曆與情感日曆往往不一致——我才剛剛得知她已經離開了人世。 (p.168~169 追憶似水年華 IV 索多姆和戈摩爾 聯經版1992) I had just perceived, in my memory, bending over my weariness, the tender, preoccupied, dejected face of my grandmother, as she had been on that first evening of our arrival, the face not of that grandmother whom I was astonished—and reproached myself—to find that I regretted so little and who was no more of her than just her name, but of my own true grandmother, of whom, for the first time since that afternoon in the Champs-Elysées on which she had had her stroke, I now recaptured, by an instinctive and complete act of recollection, the living reality. That reality has no existence for us, so long as it has not been created anew by our mind (otherwise the men who have been engaged in a Titanic conflict would all of them be great epic poets); and so, in my insane desire to fling myself into her arms, it was not until this moment, more than a year after her burial, because of that anachronism which so often prevents the calendar of facts from corresponding to that of our feelings, that I became conscious that she was dead. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) I had just glimpsed, in my memory, bent over my fatigue, the tender, concerned, disappointed face of my grandmother, such as she had been that first evening of our arrival; the face of my grandmother, not that of the one whom I had been surprised and self-reproachful at having missed so little, who had nothing of her but her name, but of my cue grandmother the living reality of whom, for the first time since the Champs-Elysées, where she had suffered her stroke, I had rediscovered n a complete and involuntary memory. This reality does not exist for us until such time as it has been re-created in our minds (otherwise, the men who have been involved in some titanic battle would all be great epic poets); thus, in a wild desire to hurl myself into her arms, it was only at this instant-more than a year after her funeral, on account of the anachronism which so often prevents the calendar of facts from coinciding with that of our feelings-that I had just learned she was dead. (Translated by John Sturrock) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
