老婆失踪記

男子：我的老婆失踪了。她昨天開了車去購物，現在還沒回家！

警長：身高？

男子：五英呎…多。

警長：多多少？

男子：3到6吋吧，我不確定，隨鞋跟而不同。

警長：重量？

男子：不知道。但，身材不瘦，也不胖。

警長：110磅？

男子：不知道…她有時會發胖，偶爾又苗條。

警長：眼睛的顏色？

男子：我想是褐色的…從來沒有真正注意過。

警長：頭髮的顏色？

男子：每年總會改變好幾次，現在也許是棕色，我不記得了。

警長：她穿著是…

男子：可能是褲子，也可能是裙子，或是短褲。我不知道。

警長：她開了什麼車？

男子：她開了我的卡車。

警長：什麼樣的卡車？

男子：是2016年白色的公羊(Ram)，四輪傳動，6.4升HemiV8引擎，特殊合金的車輪和越野Toyo輪胎，還有特製的收縮踏板和夜間發光輪井照明。車後有一個特製的白色封蓋，奈米技術的地板墊，車尾有金栓。車內有酒吧和冰箱，LED照明，前後攝像鏡頭，麋鹿皮革，能加熱、能冷卻的座椅，隨氣候控制的空調系統，天窗、DVD、GPS導航，衛星無線電收訊，Cobra 75 WXST 40頻道的CB收音機，六個杯架、3個USB端口、和4個電源插座。

警長：這容易，先生，我們會很快找到你的卡車的！

Husband:  My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and  has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?                           

Husband:  I'm not sure.  A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband:  Don't know.  Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sheriff: Color of hair? Husband: Changes a couple times a year.  Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sheriff:  What was she wearing?

Husband:   Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts.  I don't know  exactly.

Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:  She went in my truck.

Sheriff:    What kind of truck was it?

Husband: A 2016 pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning.    

It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB  radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets.    

I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.   It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.  

At this point the husband started choking up. 

Sheriff: Take it easy sir, we'll find your truck!!!