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明天和意外哪个先来?一纸遗嘱中的冷暖人生
2018/11/03 13:03:41瀏覽68|回應3|推薦0

明天和意外哪个先来?一纸遗嘱中的冷暖人生  记者 上官云【编辑:姜雨薇】

中华遗嘱库北京第一登记中心。写着“幸福慢递”字样的邮筒。 中华遗嘱库北京第一登记中心里,有一个写着“幸福慢递”字样的“邮筒”。中华遗嘱库北京第一登记中心里坐满了人。一张空白的“幸福留言卡”。 上官云 摄
资料图:此前,上海公证行业推出“老年人免费保管遗嘱和办理遗嘱公证”公益服务月活动。中新社发 袁婧 摄

中新网客户端北京11月3日电 题目:明天和意外哪个先来?一纸遗嘱中的冷暖人生
  在北京的一条小胡同里,藏着一间不足60平方米的小屋。远远望去,“北京第一登记中心”字样很醒目,凑到门前,“中华遗嘱库”这5个小字才能看清。
  在这里,立遗嘱不再是一件避讳的事情:越来越多的人选择在意识清醒时,写下了一生中最后的秘密。

  豁达生死观
  深秋的一个上午,刘蓉在一份遗嘱上按下指纹。
  今年72岁的刘蓉家境不错,只有一个女儿,女婿人品挺好。还有一个非常聪明的外孙女。
  闲暇时候,她爱跟老伴一起旅行,尤其喜欢坐游轮。俩人偶尔还半开玩笑地商量着,去世以后不买墓地,把骨灰撒进大海。
  生活幸福,晚辈孝顺。任谁来看,她都没必要提前立遗嘱。
  但刘蓉跟许多同龄老人的一个不同之处,就是看淡生死。
  “我患癌症已经十年了,身体并不好。”她早早跟孩子们聊起过遗产分配的问题,决定把房子留给外孙女。原本老两口是考虑给女儿,但想了想近年来居高不下的离婚率,又放弃了这个主意。
  她不忌讳提到死亡,不忌讳立遗嘱:生前就把死后的事情说明白,孩子少点麻烦。人没办法左右生老病死,李咏只有50岁,还是没了。

  刘蓉说的是那位著名主持人,不久前刚刚因癌症去世。
  咨询、预约……顺利走完立遗嘱的流程,刘蓉和老伴合了个影,留作纪念。
  她念叨着要问问能不能去世后捐献遗体,不光是为给医学上做点贡献,“我的角膜给别人了,他替我接着看这个世界,多好呢”。
  无奈的“反击”
  立遗嘱,有时也是老人向不争气儿女反击的武器。
  人过七十,本该颐养天年。但老人张同喜的日子依旧过得十分折腾。一年四季,无论身在何处,他都要随身携带自家的房产证,身份证等几乎所有的证明,形同逃难。
  这么做是为了防着一个不孝顺的儿子。
  张同喜有两个儿子,其中一个一直想卖掉老父亲的房子换钱,为了拿到房产证,不惜动手硬抢。
  这些举动令老人的心情相当压抑。他总在担心,自己去世后财产全被这个儿子抢走,“这件事如果处理不好,我死都不闭眼”。
  张同喜听说,如果一个人立了遗嘱,那他去世后遗产的处理就必须首先按遗嘱来执行,没有遗嘱的,才按“法定继承”。
  2013年,他立下了遗嘱,没给那个“不孝顺”的儿子留遗产。也是想用这种方式,逼儿子自食其力。

  张同喜觉着,来立遗嘱的人,都是担心自己的财产被不称心的人继承,“事情办完,我心里痛快多了”。
  一纸遗嘱,人间冷暖
  时间久了,中华遗嘱库的工作人员们,见到了太多的刘蓉和张同喜,也见惯了遗嘱背后的悲欢离合。
  一位老太太有三个女儿,感情好得很。三个人经常一起结伴去看妈妈,闲了还能凑一桌麻将。随着年龄增加,老人计划立个遗嘱,等自己百年之后,名下三套房子正好分给三个女儿,谁也不吃亏。
  可她没想到,风声一漏,每个女儿都背着其他人偷偷来找老母亲,想叫老人在遗嘱里把那套价值最高的房子留给自己,闹得不可开交。
  原本和和气气的一家人,再也没能一起打一回麻将。
  也有九十多岁的老太太,颤巍巍来立遗嘱,手抄了两遍才通过,累得躺在长椅上。为的是让远在国外的女儿能够得到一个有法律效力的遗嘱。这样,自己去世后,女儿便能顺利继承遗产。
  永远不要用利益去考验人性;但永远也要相信人心深处最基本的温情。这是中华遗嘱库一名工作人员得出的结论。
  “不注重遗嘱订立、订立遗嘱不严谨,对家庭和睦影响很大。很多老人都在担忧自己的身后事。”中华遗嘱库管委会主任、律师陈凯总结,“对遗嘱的需求,就像一座盖在浮灰下的火山”。
  人生旅途中最后的秘密
  截至2018年9月底,中华遗嘱库全国咨询预约人次将近达到14万,登记保管遗嘱约11万份。目前,在中华遗嘱库北京第一登记中心,预约立遗嘱的人已经排到了2020年4月份。
  每个工作日,这间小屋里都几乎坐满了人。
  从核验身份、遗嘱咨询、遗嘱抄写、精神评估到登记、录像等一套完整的程序下来,大约得两个小时,一天最多只能为25到30名60岁及以上老人办理遗嘱登记业务。
  年龄是这一数字波动的根源:有些老人写字能力已经太差,无法完成遗嘱抄写;有些老人表达不够清晰,不能顺利通过精神评估。
“要知道这样,为什么不早点立遗嘱呢?”每次遇到这种情况,工作人员脸上都写满了无奈。

  种种现实,让越来越多的人改变观念,不再把立遗嘱视为“咒我去死”,而是选择在生前说清死后的意愿,避免可能出现的麻烦。
  陈凯说,立遗嘱的人虽然以“银发族”居多,但年轻人所占的比例也在逐渐增加。人们正以越来越坦然的态度,去面对不知何时降临的死亡。
  在中华遗嘱库北京第一登记中心,有一个写着“幸福慢递”字样的“邮筒”,很多老人会在立完遗嘱后,手书一份幸福留言卡,投递进去。
  有时,上面写着立遗嘱人对生活磨难的释怀;有时,则写着他们一生未说出口的温柔话语。
  记者发现,留言卡中出现频率最高的3个词分别是“幸福”、“快乐”、“健康”,那也是他们对亲人最后、最真挚的祝愿。(应受访者要求,文中刘蓉、张同喜为化名)

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蝙蝠
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2018/11/06 18:08
明天和意外哪个先来?一纸遗嘱中的冷暖人生
--sooner or later it happens to every one. from what i heard and now my mom, i would say at least every one needs to prepare NT$10,000,000. NT$3,600,000 for your age 80 to 90 hiring 雇工 to take care(monthly $30,000). when fall down the hospital fee would be very expensive. taiwan insurance system only allow room for patient 30 days then must 14 days to pay by yourself as 2-person room, or if the patient still can make appointment visiting other hospital 神经内科 doctor who can decide give room or not which under insurance cover.
the fee as far as i knew 2-person room $5000/day, 30 days under insurance cover you can reduce to $2800/day or the cheapest one for 6-person room if no worry infected by other patients and their visiting people. ie 365days/(30+14days)=8.3x$5000x14day=nt$581,000/year then plus other medicines, instruments...fee.
蝙蝠(amtrak) 於 2018-11-06 18:15 回覆:

my sister's friend told her mom 3 month charged nt$500,000 as fell down did heart and stroke treatments and now 失语 refused to eat her situation is better than my mom.

--the above didn't include house related fee if patient living with one of kid. so how to pick the right kid is quite difficult. i saw a taiwanese so called mom didn't give any money to kids after her husband died and none let her lives with them.

Another parents tried to evenly give their 2 sons(one in usa, one in taiwan) but in the end they stay in taiwan because broke legs. 

my brother in law told my sister hold money tightly, never give any kid after he dies. he believes if kids are good no need parents money.


蝙蝠
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2018/11/06 10:19

i kept hearing this man that mom died because mucus 塞住气管, most serious illness patients in the end got lung-related problem.
Even my mom fell down caused heart attack then stroke then got lung infected. Another friend's mom has similar but lucky no lung's problem.
in usa the seniors every year would get flu and lung-related shot. if that lung shot can prevent lung infected maybe taiwan hospital should give the illness patients shot before too late.

蝙蝠(amtrak) 於 2018-11-06 10:34 回覆:

from my mom case i did compare with usa hosptal. i would say usa hospital nurse system has moe power they have power and can control diabetti medicines well. taiwan's nurse must wait till doctor tell them. if doctor is buzy then patient's relative better pray. 

the thing bothers me is diabetti control is not that difficult, can make a table to show how high should use how much medicines to maintain stable.


蝙蝠
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2018/11/03 13:24

from what i knew things happened around us i would say the best way is calculated well and realize 久病无孝子 reality. then you know what to do. 

i was born in the poor family, same as my father. however my father and me still can get rid of the poor situation because we didn't inherit anything but hard working and with kindness hearts so good things happened to us when we needed help. 

i also saw kids tried hard to steal money from parents in the end living with guilty.

this year to my mom it is quite true that ...属鼠人2018年 ...年逢三大凶星,要提防意外伤身之灾,关注家中长辈健康,幸好“天解”相助,可凭借努力和耐性战胜困难。

when we worried how to transfer to another hospital under her bad situation, the “天解” shows up because my eldestest nephew's classmate's father working in the same hospital.

the eldest nephew still remember my parents loving him so much plus me and brothers because he was the 1st 3rd genration born while our family had long time without any kids around.

蝙蝠(amtrak) 於 2018-11-03 13:51 回覆:

my father was frequently walked long way to the working place, and loved walking -shopping every morning after retired we all believed he should live longer than my mom who got breast cancer, stroke, diabetti, ... but he died at 83 heart attacked. my uncle died over 90. so my mom became the 2nd longest still survives. my brother-in-law's father was the longest as 99. 

most live longer parents because kids are good and willing taking care their parents. certainly money is the key. my sister-in-law's mom in hospital refused to eat before she married because didn't want to drag down her marriage. my brother-in-law's father in hospital refused to eat because lived too long.

it may happen to my mom but i encourage her no worry money i would help her as much as i can because we always live within budget. i told my sister after retired if only if income more than expenses that can be called richer.

my sistr and brothers are richer than me but they bought houses with expensive management fee nt$3000/mm it became huge burden after retired that caused income less than expenses.