How are you? The long summer vacation is finally over. Did you have a good time?
The new semester of your English school and Chinese school also start. Congratulations on your moving up to the first grade! You must have met new teachers and many new classmates. Do you like them? You are a happy person that is always joking and laughing, full of energy, often bringing joys and laughters to people around you. Grandpa has no worries that you will adapt to the new environment in no time.
Your English school always arranges students who are one year and one grade apart to learn and study in the same classroom. This is a very meaningful learning system that will results in a win-win situation for students of either grade. The purpose is to hope that through this daily interaction process, younger students can learn from their older students strengths or experiences and benefit from this secondary learning method outside the teachers teaching. In the meantime, older students can also pass on their knowledge or experience to younger students and gain joys of helping others because of the sense of accomplishment.
I remember that when you were still at the kindergarten level last year, grandpa used to send you to school. Every day when we entered the classroom, the first thing the teacher wanted you to do is to go to the whiteboard to see whats the number of days that had passed since the beginning of the semester, and then link this number as a result of a arithmetic formula of your own design. Back at that time, you just began to learn the addition part of arithmetic, so you didnt quite know how to do this. Grandpa said "Dont worry, just watch how the big brothers in the first grade do first." So after you have observed them a few times, you were able to kick in quickly. From now on, you have changed to a big brother, it is your turn to help the younger classmates. There is a famous saying in Chinese, "helping people is the foundation of happiness". When you help others, others will be very grateful to you, and you will feel great appreciation and happiness.
This kind of learning and teaching experience among classmates is an important process for your growth. Later, you will gradually understand that there is no direct relationship between the level of knowledge and the age of a person. In ancient times, there was a great writer in China named Han Yu. He once said: "Disciples dont have to be worse than teachers, and teachers dont have to be better than disciples. Timing of learning knowledge varied from person to person; knowhow of each profession is specialized. Thats all." It is to say that the knowledge of all professions is very specialized. Some people learn it early and some learn It late. Therefore, no matter how old you are, and as long as the other person has the knowledge that you dont have, this person can teach you and become your teacher. Even if the other person is younger than you, or holding a position not as good as yours, you still must learn from this person humbly and show respect as to a teacher. This is what Confucius said in his famous proverb, "Never feel shameful to ask questions from the inferior." Remember it!
Every day mommy sends you to school at eight oclock, and daddy picks you up at half past five. So you have nine and a half hours to spend with your classmates for classes, eating, playing, doing homework, etc., and get along for a long time. Grandpa knows that you are active and love to make friends. However, in such a long period of time, even a good friend can inevitably lead to conflicts or frictions with you. When that happens, some children will cry out loud to because they think those who cry first will win first, and crying will attract attention. Sometimes even actions like moving, pulling and violence can be observed. These are not solutions to the problem, Instead, it will add fuel to the fire and make the situation worse. At this point, the skills of "communication" can come in handy. Peaceful communication is the best way to resolve the deadlock or crisis between the two sides. Why? Let grandpa analyze it for you.
According to my experience, there are three good communication steps: asking questions, listening, and finding answers together. You must first ask the other party why the dispute has occurred, and then listen to what the other party has to say. Of course, the other party can also ask questions and let you explain. In this way, both parties can understand each others positions, and they can clarify immediately if they misunderstand. Remember to maintain two principles in the communication process: control emotions and care about each others feelings. Because when you are angry, the words you speak are often very rushing, and it is easier to arouse the other partys resentment. Things will be more and more rigid and cant be talked out. If you are paying attention to others, the other party will appreciate your sincerity, then the atmosphere will be eased and things will go much smoother. This is why people say, "Take it easy and things will smooth out." After fully expressing and exchanging the opinions of both sides, it is then possible to jointly discuss a fair solution to the problem. Its like when you two are playing with the seesaw, you are up and I am down, or vice versa. Two people can rotate up or down position, or maintain at a balance point together.
For example, the teacher first gave you a LEGO brick set to build. You had to go to bathroom so you put it on a table. Unexpectedly a classmate found it there and started to play with it. When you came back and spotted this scene, what should you do? Crying is of course not a solution. What would happen if you use brute force to get it back? You couldnt solve the problem, either. What should you do? Ask him questions first and present your points of view. If he does not believe it and say that he saw it first, then ask the teacher to verify your words. You two can also discuss a way to share, one is to play together, the other is to take turns playing with each playing for a while. In short, find a way that both sides can accept, that is, fair, and even better, a win-win result. Isn’t it good to resolve disputes in a peaceful way?
I hope when you encounter controversy in the future, dont cry, because crying indicates your incapability and weakness. Dont retreat, because retreating signals escaping and giving up. Be brave to face it, solve it, listen to the other partys opinions sincerely, calmly communicate with the other party, and Never end your efforts until your goal is achieved. This is a very important part of your growing process. Please practice your communication skills more often and make it a part of your life. You shall make it because grandpa has great confidence in you.
After the communication, misunderstanding will be cleared just like ice is melted. It will lead to more understanding of the other persons personality and sometimes both sides will become good friends. When your uncle was a child, he had a fight with his classmate because of an unresolved conflict. Afterwards, they communicated with each other sincerely, and they apologized to each other. Since then, they have become good friends for many years. Everytime grandpa went to their high school to watch your uncles tennis matches, he was always there as cheerleader to support your uncle. He even introduced himself as a fan a buddy. Grandpa thought, this really matched the Chinese saying "You really dont know each other until after the fight"!
Today, grandpas letter is a little more serious. It may be a little difficult to understand. It is best to ask Mummy to explain it to you. I hope that its contents will be helpful to your current and even future social relationships. Bless you!
Miss you, Grandpa September 2, 2019 Nathan was six years, four month and one week old
字體：小 中 大
